Chapter 130
I could’ve cut through the silence with a butterknife, Darian hadn’t said a word but his eyes were tracing over my face.
Part of me understood, I could sympathize with him for wanting to bring his daughter back- I can’t say that I would’ve done any different if it were my
child.
But still, despite everything, he killed my parents. No amount of forgiveness will bring them back, all it will do is tarnish their memory.
The inner turmoil was deafening, and anger swirled in me when he still, after another minute, didn’t speak.
It dawned on me that we’d been so caught up in ourselves that I hadn’t listened in to make sure that we were still alone but somehow I felt safe in knowing that Darian had it covered even if I couldn’t see it. The pain was eating at me, it had for this whole time and it felt like every breath was fighting to be
breathed.
“It’s okay, nothing you say will change anything anyway,” I said under my breath.
I looked away, I had to, his eyes were something else when they weren’t filled with hatred and pleasure over inflicting pain.
“Did you know that before modern medicine, Lycan’s used herbs for everything? There wasn’t an injury or disease that couldn’t be cured. They even dabbled in potions, taught by the witches who lived in the shadows, they were the only ones dumb enough to teach Lycans something that would make them stronger than they already were. One practice that stuck more than any other, it was popular among Lycan’s- especially with the warriors, was the ability to suppress your humanity,”
Suppress your humanity. This couldn’t be real.
Without humanity there’s no balance, there is only pure evil and add onto that a beast with a power unlike any other and a strength that can not be matched, along with a deep-seated urge for dominance and superiority, and you have the ultimate monster.
“What did you do?” I gasped.
T
Darian walked toward me and when I reached out my hand to stop him, he grabbed my wrist and locked it behind my back. His eyes swirled with a haunting darkness and he drew a breath deep into his lungs as he parted his lips.
“I felt nothing. In those moments when I marked your body, tore at your heart, and shattered the walls around your mind- I felt no shame or regret. There was only pleasure in taking what I wanted even though I was twisting you, breaking you and into my will,” his voice was low and dark.
The tears pressed against the back of my eyes, burning like acid when I wouldn’t let them fall.
My lips parted as my breaths became heavier and Darian closed the distance between us, holding my arm pinned behind my back.
“I played with you because they told me to but I relished in it, every second of what I did I enjoyed,” his eyes fell and rounded, “and every other moment when my humanity wasn’t suppressed, every fiber of my being burned into a pile of ash and my heart broke in ways I didn’t know was possible,”
He cupped my face and dragged his thumb over my cheek, drying the tears that I didn’t know had fallen.
“You took everything from me,” my lip quivered as I whispered the words.
“I had to break you, mind, body, and soul. Every part of you needed to be mine,”
“And I will forever have the scars to prove it,” I cried. My brows furrowed and the tears fell faster.
Darian shifted closer and pulled me in.
His grip on my wrist tightened desperately- his mouth fell open and closed several times before any words fell out.
I heard the sweet words mixed with the truth and everything fell into the pot together with the torment that his voice had caused me so many times and I saw the playful gaze with which he had caused me pain.
Whatever he said that’s all heard- the ridicule and the condescending comments that made me feel like a worthless shell of nothingness. Was that what he
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Chapter 130
was thinking right now? How could I know that what he said is what he means because in that case how was all the other things not his truth?
“Your mind is exploding.” Trixy sassed.
“Maybe you could offer some help instead of giving me tude,”
There was a silence in my mind, a stale one.
“You feel it as much as I do, we have from the start despite the pain,” she answered.
“So we’re just supposed to forgive everything?”
“No,”
“What then?” I asked- desperate for a clear answer, I wanted the clue to land in my head like a gift from the gods.
“I don’t know,” she sighed.
Aside from the death of my parents, there was one thing that trumped all others. A pain that was constant with a reminder in the form of a scar and a piece of myself that I would never get back.
“You were my first,” I bit out through the tears.
Darian’s eyes hardened but they were hazy like he was forcing back emotion and his jaw roughly clenched, showing the sharp contours of his face.
“And mark my words, Hazel, I will be your last,” he softly released my arm and rested his hand on my hip, “if it’s with the last breath I take, I will earn your forgives,”
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