Chapter 178 Walking Away
Chapter 178 Walking Away
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I never thought I’d see him again. It had been years–long, bitter, exhausting years since the last time our paths had crossed–and when they finally did, it had to be like this. He was pressed up against someone else, lips moving hungrily, as if he didn’t have a single care in the world.
My chest constricted from disappointment. Ellana’s face rose in my mind. Ellana, who had given everything, who had died for him just to protect the possibility of his future. And here he was, living it with ease, with no shadows dragging him down, not even a sprinkle of tiredness in his gaze.
He looked good. It appeared that the years had been kind to him.
I shook my head before I realized I was doing it. My throat burned, and I pressed my nails into my palm to stop the tremor in my hands.
“Tessa?”
The sound of my name falling from his lips hit me harder than I expected. He muttered it like he was sorry. His eyes widened as recognition settled in, and his entire body shifted forward. He tried to come to me.
But I couldn’t.
I shook my head sharply. I didn’t want him near me. My heart was already tired from everything this week had thrown at me, and adding Dustin to the pile would break me clean in two.
Besides, there were far more urgent things gnawing at me. I still hadn’t studied for Mr. Thompson’s quiz, and the thought of walking into that classroom unprepared terrified me more than facing Dustin ever could. At least failure in school was something I could control. Him? He was a wound I couldn’t stop reopening.
“Tessa, it’s been a while,” he started off, voice soft. “It would be nice if the two of us could talk.”
I looked into his eyes.
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Chapter 178 Walking Away
“There’s nothing left to talk about,” I whispered. With that, I turned. My feet carried me faster than my heart could keep up with, away from him.
I could hear him calling after me, but I ignored every call.
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The building doors swung open under my palms, and the air outside slapped me in the face. I sucked in a deep breath, trying to clear my mind. However, that was impossible when I saw another source of my worries–the biggest one.
Rowan was standing just a few meters away, a frown on his face as he looked down at his phone.
I had wanted to talk to him after classes, but I never thought I’d actually get the chance to find him alone.
Yet here he was. In my mind, this was the perfect time. There would never be another moment like this. It was now or never.
Before I could overthink, I marched toward him.
He looked up at the same time I took my first step forward. I took it as a good sign that he didn’t step back.
I could tell he looked tired, but I knew I must’ve looked even more worn down. The sleepless nights had carved shadows under my eyes. My scent still carried his, faint and fragile. It was subtle, unnoticeable unless you were me. Unless you were living inside this half–bond that would never be complete. Rowan wouldn’t catch it. He couldn’t.
I looked up at him anyway, forcing myself to hold his gaze. For a second, I swore I saw concern in his gaze. However, it was instantly gone, swallowed by the familiar distance he always carried.
I sighed, running my fingers through my hair, biting my lip to stop it from trembling. Finally, I forced myself to speak.
“We need to talk,” I said.
Rowan straightened, his eyes sharpening. “What do we need to talk about?”
Everything. The word caught in my throat before it slipped out. I wanted to tell him about the sleepless nights, about Ellana, about the things that weighed on me
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Chapter 178 Walking Away
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until I could hardly breathe. I wanted to tell him how much it hurt to stand this close and feel so far away. But instead, I pressed my lips together and forced out the only words I could manage.
“Everything,” I repeated, my tone breaking just slightly. “But for now, I’m going to tell you something very important. And even though you’ve thought of me as a liar for most of the time, we’ve known each other. I hope you believe me in this one. Please.”
Rowan said nothing. His silence was both a punishment and a permission, and I decided to take it as the latter. My heart thudded in my chest as I drew in a shaky breath.
“I’m-”
“There you are!”
The voice cut in before the words could even escape.
Zaria appeared out of nowhere, her footsteps quick and light, her voice bright as she rushed toward him. Her expression shifted the moment her eyes landed on me, curdling into that familiar scowl she never bothered to hide. “You forgot we were going to meet by the gates and not here?”
She barely waited for him to answer before wrapping her arms around him, pulling him closer.
“Oh,” Zaria said, finally acknowledging my presence. “What are you doing here?”
“Is this an important matter? Rowan and I have to attend to much more important
matters.”
The urge to vomit rose so fast I thought I might actually choke on it.
And in that single moment, something inside me broke. The fragile hope I had clung to, the belief that maybe he’d want to hear me, was shattered.
My future flashed in front of me in cruel fragments. Zaria’s voice is telling me to get rid of it. Rowan silent at her side, maybe even nodding in agreement.
“What was that?” Rowan’s voice broke through, his eyes narrowing slightly.
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Chapter 178 Walking Away
I bit my lip so hard I tasted blood. I shook my head once, quick and final. “Nothing,” I whispered. “Absolutely nothing.”
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“The two of you have fun,” I added, even managing a smile. “I hope you live a happy life.”
A small frown appeared on his brow, but I quickly turned around, unwilling to see it.
Each step away from him felt like dragging my body through fire. My chest ached, my vision blurred, and all I could think of was how cruel life could be.
Owen said that having one parent was hard, that it left a hole in your heart that never quite closed. But what about having two, and still feeling like you were unloved? What about living every day with the sense that no matter how hard you tried, something was broken–and it was you?
That pain was worse.
I didn’t want my child to feel that.
So, with that, I had decided. Walking away was the right thing to do.
