APOLLO-
18
I’d had enough of this.
Without waiting for her to say anything else, I wrap my arm around her waist and effortlessly lift her over my shoulder.
Lana gasps but surprisingly remains silent. She doesn’t struggle or demand that I set her down.
As I open the door to my car, I gently place her in the passenger seat. Leaning over, I buckle her in, knowing I can’t risk her moving around while I drive.
Before I could pull away, she grabs me by my collar, holding me in place. My face is inches away from hers, her lips closer than they’ve ever been.
“Are you never going to tell me about her?” she whispers. My heart squeezes at the hurt in her voice.
Tinhale her scent and almost lose my fucking mind.
Control. Stay in control.
I found myself repeating those words over and over in my mind. 1 was determined not to lose my grip on reality. I needed to remind myself that what we
had was simply out of reach.
I placed my hand over hers on my shirt and whispered, “You’re better off not knowing.”
She let me gently ease her hand away as I stepped back from her. I closed the car door and walked to the driver’s side. She remained utterly silent as I
slid into the car.
I glanced in my rearview mirror, checking for any signs of my mother or Jada. To my surprise, my phone hadn’t buzzed with a call from her yet.
As I pulled out of the hotel parking lot and hit the road, Lana sat quietly beside me. I was relieved she wasn’t bringing up Jada anymore. I had only thought it best to keep her in the dark about the whole situation when I had told her that it would be better if she didn’t know.
I stop in my tracks when I hear a soft sniffle escape her lips, as if she might be crying. My heart skips a beat. There’s no way Lana would be upset by what I said earlier to the point that she would feel like crying.
I turned to her, and a sharp pain shot through my chest as I watched a single tear roll down her flushed cheek.
Ah fuck. She was most definitely crying.
I quickly pulled over to the side of the road, disbelief washing over me as guilt settled in.
“Lana?” I say gently. “What’s wrong?”
I found myself wishing that her tears were for a different reason, not as a result of my actions. She’s always acted like my behavior didn’t bother her, so it was hard to witness this vulnerable side of her.
“It hurts.” She gasps as she lifts her face so that I could get a better view of her.
Hurts?
“Where?” I ask her, instinctively searching her body for any signs of injury. Did she hurt herself while trying to find me?
How on earth did she get to the hotel in the first place? Did someone drop her off? Did she drive herself? Jake would definitely have the answers I need.
She takes my hand and gently guides it to her chest, and I frown as she places it over her heart.
My gaze snaps back to her face when I understand what her gesture means.
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་་་་་་ ་་ པ་་
Chapter 36
“Here.” She says as the tears continue to fall. “It hurts here.”
FUCK.
My own heart squeezes tightly at her confession. I was not prepared for this side of Lana. I try not to let her words affect me but I couldn’t, not after seeing her cry.
“Why does it hurt?” I can’t help but ask.
“Idon’t know,” she replies, tears streaming down her face.
My jaw tightens in response.
Seeing her like this made me feel helpless, as if I would do anything in my power to wipe away her tears.
I leaned over, unbuckled her seatbelt, and gently brushed the tears from her cheeks with my fingers. Though I wanted to comfort her, a fear nagged at me: if I did, she might think there was a chance I actually cared. My whole plan hinged on making her believe I was heartless, and any show of compassion could ruin that.
“What can I do to help?” I found myself asking, the words slipping out before I could stop them.
She turned to face me, her expression surprising me with a flicker of worry. To my astonishment, she shifted from her seat and climbed onto my lap.
“What are you doing?” I ask her as panic begins to settle.
She doesn’t say anything as she wraps her arms around my neck and places her head on my chest while straddling me.
My both hands are stretched out in front of me, careful not to wrap them around her. I wasn’t sure exactly what was happening here.
I’ve been around so many girls in the past, touching them have never been complicated.
With Lana, though, it’s a whole different ballgame. I tread lightly around her, weighing my actions carefully before making any moves.
freeze when I feel her tears seeping through my shirt.
Fuck.
She was still crying.
“Just hold me.” She says between sobs.
“W–what?” I ask in a hoarse whisper.
I can’t even recognize my own voice.
“You asked what you can do to help.” She reminds me of my earlier words.
Oh.
My jaw tightens as I slowly close my arms around her. She sighs contentedly when I pull her closer to me and place my cheek against her hair.
I’ve been with my fair share of women in the past, but I’ve never held anyone quite like this. She’s the only one I would ever let myself embrace in such a way, and she may never truly understand that.
If circumstances were different, if my family weren’t so complicated, I would sweep Lana into my arms without a second thought and never look back.
Sadly, that’s not a possibility.
Eventually, I would have to let her go, no matter how difficult that would be for me.
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21:25 Mon, 14 Jul V
Chapter 36
Just then, my phone lights up on the dashboard, catching my eye.
Damn it.
It’s my mother. She’s calling.
She has the worst fucking timing.
C
