-APOLLO-
I desperately wanted to rush up to my mate’s room and pull her into my arms. Especially after catching the look on her face when she saw us returning from dinner. I knew she had noticed the ring by now, and I was worried she might throw it back in my face. If she did, I couldn’t blame her–I’d deserve it.
Finding the right words to express my feelings to Lana felt impossible. I knew I needed to create distance between us since being with her was off the table. Yet there were so many things I couldn’t stop myself from doing for her or to her. It was nearly impossible to articulate how torn I felt.
As soon as I reached my room, I slid down the wall and collapsed onto the floor. Tonight was a fucking pain. From listening to my mother and Jada discuss wedding plans and forcing me to take part in it to constantly wishing my mate was by my side.
Why couldn’t things be simpler? Why couldn’t my mother be more accepting? I considered coming clean to her, hoping she might at least think about accepting Lana. However, I was all too aware that wouldn’t be easy. My mother would likely turn it into a huge mess and end up in the hospital from shock. I wanted to avoid that scenario at all costs.
My body tensed at the sound of a knock on my door. I leaned my head back against the wall and closed my eyes, not wanting to talk to anyone right now. I was utterly drained by everything that had happened, and after a long, monotonous dinner with Lana constantly on my mind, I couldn’t bear another conversation with my mother or Jada.
A second knock sounded, and I kept silent. Whoever it was would hopefully assume I was asleep.
But then the door swung open, and I felt the air rush out of my lungs when I saw Lana standing there, her face a mixture of anger and sadness.
Fuck no. She should not be here this hour, especially not with the heavy feeling in my chest right now.
She spotted me on the floor, and I could see the confusion mingled with worry in her eyes. My heart raced when she shut the door behind her.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, wary. “You shouldn’t be in my room with the door closed.”
She shouldn’t be here at all. It was too risky. She knew how it went when she entered my space–my eyes and hands would inevitably gravitate toward her.
Lana held up the hand with the ring still on it, her voice demanding, “What does this mean? I know you’re the one who put this on my finger. There’s no one else in this house who would do something like that. It has to be you. But why? Why would you give me something like this?”
I never meant to hide that I was the one who bought the ring from her. I always knew she would figure it out.
“Do you not like it?” I countered, trying to divert the conversation, “I thought it was perfect for you the moment I saw it.”
Her frown deepened. “That’s not what I’m getting at. What I want to know is why you’d leave this on my finger when you’re set to marry someone else in just two days!”
Fuck.
She was right. Now that she’s said it, it was fully registering in my mind how close everything was.
Only two days remained until the engagement ceremony. Jada’s parents would arrive tomorrow, and they would be meeting everyone here to finalize Everything.
I couldn’t even bear to think about how chaotic that would be.
“The moment I saw the ring. I knew I had to get it for you,” I explain, feeling guilty. “I couldn’t leave without it. I’m sorry if my actions upset you.”
Lana glared at me. “I can’t believe you’d do something like this and still go through with the engagement!”
I had no choice, if I tried to call off this arrangement, my mother would create havoc for all of us. By agreeing to this marriage, I was protecting everyone:
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11:33 Wed, 16 Jul G.
Chapter 92
Lana, my mother, my sister, my whole family. Choosing anything else would set off a chain reaction I wasn’t ready to face.
Her bottom lips tremble and I hate knowing that I’m doing this to her. I want to tell her the truth, I really do, but once again, I cannot bring myself to do it.
What was the point in dragging her into my family’s mess if there was nothing she could do to change it?
“Lana,” I beg. “Please leave. I do not want to discuss this. Tonight is not a good time for me.”
I was trying my hardest to protect her. I wanted her here but knew that it wasn’t good for her to be in here with me right now.
Alarms go off in my head when she sits down next to me and gently cups my face, forcing me to meet her gaze. “Talk to me, please. Tell me why it’s so crucial for you to follow your mother’s wishes. What are you so afraid of?”
There was so much. I was terrified of so many things.
I wanted to open up to Lana, but every part of me shouted against it. I can’t do it, no matter how badly I wanted to.
“Please, Apollo,” she persisted. “Stop shutting me out. I need you to be honest for once. Let me in, just a little. That’s all I ask.”
“Please, Lana,” I whisper. “Stop insisting. I don’t have the answers you want.”
I felt hollow, like my life was slipping away before my eyes. All I longed for was to claim my mate as my own. My yearning for her was overwhelming.
“I’m not taking no for an answer tonight,” she insists. “You will tell me the truth. You will open up to me.”
I inhaled sharply at her words.
This was not good.
I knew that if she kept pushing, I would eventually give in. I couldn’t let that happen. I had to find a way to get her out of this room before it came down to that.
“What do I need to do for you to tell me the truth?” she whispers as she leans closer into me so that her breasts are up in my fucking face. “Do you even want to be with me? Do you care about me?”
Fuck.
I didn’t want to start that conversation. It was easier to pretend I didn’t care.
“Lana-”
“No!” she snaps, stopping me before I could say anything. “I want an answer tonight. Do you have any feelings for me, Apollo? Do you even care about me at all?”
swallow hard.
“If you honestly don’t care for me, if you say it’s all in my head and that you feel nothing for me, tears glistening in her eyes. “That’s all I need to hear from you. So please, Apollo, just give me a straight answer. Do you have feelings for me or not?”
then I’ll drop this and move on with my life,” she says,
2/2
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11:33 Wed, 16 Jul xi G O
