193 Echoes of a Wounded Past
Martha
I finished the bottle of gin. It burned all the way down, but still, sleep didn’t come. My head spun, but my thoughts kept circling the same dead end, Vander.
I needed to speak to him. Needed him to hear me. To see me, not as the woman he had turned cold to, but the woman who once loved him without guard. If there was ever a time to fight for my place beside him, it was now.
I slipped into his favorite lingerie, the black lace one he used to compliment me in, and wrapped a white silk robe over it. Maybe it was pathetic, maybe desperate. I didn’t care anymore. I had nothing left to lose.
His room was empty when I entered. The cold, quiet space reminded me of how long I’d been shut out. I linked Jason and
asked where Vander was.
“He’s in the office,” Jason replied. “Meeting with Lucian and a woman.”
I decided to wait.
I wandered to the cabinet where Vander kept his liquor, poured myself something strong, and settled onto the edge of his bed. My hands trembled, but not from the drink, this was nerves. Guilt. Maybe even hope.
I should’ve done things differently.
I should’ve told him the truth from the start. Shown him compassion. Patience. Loyalty. Maybe then we’d still be us.
As I waited, my mind drifted, uninvited, back to him. To Alaric.
FLASHBACK
I was sixteen the first time I saw him up close.
He was standing under a streetlight, alone. His father had just died. I had gone out to scavenge food, anything to bring home. My father was ill. My sister had run off to Kentville with some boy. It was just me and my mother, who never missed a chance to remind me I was useless unless I used my looks.
“Why don’t you go get something for once?” she had snapped.
So I went out, angry, afraid, hungry.
Alaric called out to me from across the street.
I knew who he was. Everyone in Goldenpeak knew him. He wasn’t like the other Alphas, he wasn’t noble or respected. He was… feared. But that night, he seemed soft-spoken. Curious. He asked what I was doing. I didn’t answer. He figured it out anyway. Slipped me some money without asking for anything in return.
I brought it home and told my mother how I got it. She didn’t scold me. She smiled.
“See?” she said. “He likes you. Go back.”
So I did.
We started seeing each other. He took care of us. Bought my father medicine. Sent food. For the first time, I felt important, protected. I moved in with him, hopeful. Naive.
But one day, he brought home a stranger. Told me to sleep with him.
I laughed, thinking he was joking. He wasn’t.
When I refused, he linked me coldly and told me we were broke. That this was how we’d survive now. That if I lovedhim,
I’d do it.
I knew he had money. He was always stashing it, saving for some dream in Neev. He said once we made enough, we’d leave Goldenpeak and build something big. That we’d be great someday.
That night, he beat me for the first time.
He forced me.
After that, the man I thought I loved disappeared. In his place was a master who saw my body as a transaction. I tried to run, but he always found me. Always punished me. Eventually, I stopped running.
When we finally moved to Neev, I worked at a hotel, as staff during the day, and “entertainment” by night. That was my life.
Until I met Vander.
He was supposed to be just another customer, but he wasn’t. I approached him, offered myself, because I needed the money, and Alaric wouldn’t give me anything to send home for
my
father.
Vander looked at me like I was human.
“I’m married,” he said, gently, and showed me the mark on his neck.
I should have felt rejected, but instead, I felt seen.
We talked. Somehow, I told him everything. About my father, my family. About Alaric, though not all the dark parts.
He listened.
And before he left, he gave me money, for my father. Not in exchange for anything. Just to help. And he made me
promise:
“Don’t offer yourself to anyone again.” He said.
Although I made the promise, it was never mine to keep. Not really.
I envied her-his wife. The woman who got the version of Vander I only saw in glimpses. I used to imagine what
would’ve been if I had met him first. If Alaric hadn’t found me that night. If things had been different.
my
life
But they weren’t.
Alaric eventually moved us to Kentville, saying it was time to “expand.” That was the last time I saw Vander-until years later, when Alaric sent for me again. Back to Neev. Back to business.
There was a new “customer,” he said, someone important. But the customer didn’t know he was a customer.
It was Vander. His wife had died.
And I was the girl sent to lie beside a man I once wanted to be loved by.
END OF FLASHBACK
I snapped out of the memory and took another swig from the bottle. My throat burned, but it was nothing compared to the ache in my chest.
Then the door creaked open.
Vander stepped into the room, and the anger on his face nearly knocked the breath from my lungs.
This was it. All or nothing.
I stood and moved to the door, locking it quietly behind me.
<193 Echoes of a Wounded Past
“Martha, get out,” he snapped.
+3 Ports
I flinched at the sound of his voice-sharp, unforgiving. I hadn’t been that afraid since Alaric. But I wasn’t ready to let go. “Please, Vander, I’m begging you,” I said, voice shaking. “Don’t do this. I can’t live without you. I’ll be silent. I won’t speak, I swear-I’ll be more obedient than an omega. I-”
“I need space, Martha,” he cut in, stepping back as I moved closer. His eyes burned with fury. “You’ve ruined everything.” “Vander, please,” I cried. My tears ran freely now, uncontrolled. “Just one more chance. I’ll never speak to Mara, never speak to Lucian. I’ll skip breakfast. I’ll disappear if that’s what you want-just don’t leave me.”
I dropped to my knees, sobbing, clinging to the edge of what little dignity I had left. My stomach turned violently-l wanted to vomit-but I forced myself to stay down.
“Please, Vander. I love you. You don’t even know how much I love you.”
He stared at me, unmoved. Then his voice dropped low.
“Tell me the truth about Alaric. Where is he?”
My mouth went dry. His question struck like a whip.
I couldn’t answer that. Not honestly. I didn’t know where Alaric was. And even if I did… if I told Vander the truth, he might never look at me again. Or worse.
“I swear, Vander. I don’t know where he is. I don’t, I said, and it was the truth-but only part of it.
He walked to the door.
“If you don’t leave this room right now,” he said without looking at me, “I’ll break that door down and leave this mansion for good.”
Something in me cracked.
I stood, heart racing, desperation rising like bile in my throat.
“Then… make love to me. Just once. One last time. I don’t know how long this separation will last, but I want to remember what it felt like to be touched by you. Please.”
He didn’t move. Didn’t blink. I was pathetic, maybe it was the alcohol but I didn’t care.
I stepped toward him, and when he didn’t retreat, I reached for him-leaned in to kiss him. He turned away.
I dropped again, pulling at his belt like it was the only thing holding my world together.
“You once said this was all I was good for,” I whispered, trembling. “Then let me be that. I’ll serve you forever. Just… please.”
His hands pushed mine away, rough but controlled.
Without a word, he turned and shattered the door lock with one swift motion, then walked out.
Gone.
I sat there for a moment, too stunned to cry. Then I rose-silently, slowly-and left his room without another sound.
