Chapter 149 I Just Can’t
Chapter 149 I Just Can’t
TESSA
I felt like a shadow in this place–which, if you think about it, was actually an upgrade.
Achievement unlocked: invisibility.
Nobody here cared that I existed, and I wasn’t going to complain. Being invisible meant fewer whispers behind my back, fewer pitying glances from relatives who didn’t know what to do with me, and most importantly… fewer chances of running into the people I didn’t want to see.
Unfortunately, I still had eyes. And my eyes found him almost immediately.
Rowan.
The moment he stepped into the hall, heads turned like they always did, attention pulled toward him as though the moon herself had decided to spotlight her chosen Alpha. He looked impossibly handsome.
Tonight was his night. Midnight would decide everything.
And I, the self–proclaimed queen of bad decisions, had shown up to witness it.
Was I a martyr? Probably. Was I a masochist? Definitely.
I told myself I was here for closure. That maybe seeing him with Ellana, fated and bound under the moon, would rip the last stubborn thread of feeling I had for him.
Like cauterizing a wound, burn it, seal it, and be done.
That was the plan.
And then I saw them together.
Ellana, glowing effortlessly, and Rowan smiling down at her. My chest tightened in a way that made me want to claw it open.
I couldn’t do this.
I turned away before my carefully rehearsed emotional armor could crack.
My feet took me toward the fountain in the garden, a place blissfully empty. The night air was cooler here, carrying the scent of the roses planted along the stone path. I sat on the bench a few meters away from it, letting the sound of trickling water drown out the muffled music from inside.
I told myself I could watch it from here if I wanted. But the truth was, I was still a coward.
Midnight was close now. The idea of seeing them become mates made my throat feel tight.
The first chime of the midnight bell rang, and I let out a deep breath. That was it. They had probably discovered they were mates now.
However, before I could continue torturing myself with such thoughts, an intoxicating scent entered my
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Chapter 149 I Just Can’t
senses.
Sweet, warm, and bright with an edge of citrus. It was unlike anything I’d ever smelled before puthing me, making my heartbeat trip and stumble. I inhaled again, and it was stronger this time. My body reacted before my brain could. I rose to my feet.
The second chime rang out, echoing through the garden.
I stepped forward.
The third chime.
Closer still. I followed the scent like it was a rope tugging at my chest, guiding me across the garden path. My palms were damp now, my pulse racing in.
The fourth chime, and I came across the scene I originally came for.
Ellana and Rowan stood facing each other, framed by the soft silver of moonlight. His expression was calm but watchful.
Hers was expectant. The air between them was heavy, but not with the spark I thought I’d see.
The scent hit me again, burning through my veins. My steps faltered, and my eyes widened in realization.
No.
The fifth chime rang, and I was about to back away, to turn and pretend I had never been here, when they both turned to me and stiffened. Rowan’s brows furrowed while Ellana’s eyes shone under the light.
The world narrowed to a pinpoint, my breath catching as the truth hit me.
I heard my own voice before I even realized I’d spoken, carrying on the fading echo of the final chime of midnight.
“Mate.”
The word slipped out like a secret I hadn’t meant to tell.
I didn’t know what reaction I had expected.
Honestly, I had already played this moment a hundred times in my head, sometimes in daylight, sometimes while lying awake in the dark, wondering how it would feel. My parents had a great love story. They met when my mom was seventeen and my dad was eighteen, and it was simple. They were together because they fought for each other. I wanted that too.
In reality, it felt like every drop of blood had been drained from my body, leaving me weightless and cold.
The scent still clung to the air, sharp and warm all at once. My mind screamed at me to hold on to it, because this was what fate had chosen for me. But fate, apparently, didn’t care about mercy.
“Of course she’s my mate. If she’s not, then… I won’t accept anyone.”
Rowan’s words from last year echoed in the back of my
mind.
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Chapter 149 I Just Can’t
s Free Colme
Last year, I’d been reckless enough to joke to myself that Rowan’s mate–if it wasn’t Ellana–would be pitiful. The thought had been bitter. Did I… did I just jinx myself?
The irony would be funny if it didn’t make me feel like the universe’s punchline.
Ellana smiled then, but it wasn’t her usual smile. It wobbled, weighed down by the tears brimming in her
eyes.
I felt guilty, even though I hadn’t done anything but stand there, as if my very existence had stolen something from her.
She turned to Rowan, and in that small movement, I could see she was trying to gather the last pieces of her pride. “Remember what I said earlier,” she whispered, so softly I barely caught it.
And then she went.
“Ellana, wait!” Rowan’s voice cracked against the cold midnight air as he stepped forward after her.
But she didn’t look back.
I didn’t move. I was just there–frozen. My eyes followed him instinctively, because even now, even with all the sharp edges between us, I couldn’t stop myself from wanting him. The bond was already alive inside me, pulling me toward him with invisible threads. My fingers ached to reach out, to bridge the few feet between us.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, a fragile hope tried to surface. He wouldn’t ignore this, right? He wouldn’t pretend this wasn’t real.
Even if he didn’t want me… he would at least honor the bond. That’s what wolves did.
But when Rowan turned to look at me, there was nothing but detachment.
He stepped closer, “You know I can’t accept you, right?”
The words weren’t cruel. They were soft–gentle even. But that only made them worse.
Because kindness, when it came with rejection, had a way of shattering you completely.
