Chapter 176 Inside Mc
Chapter 176 Inside Me
TESSA
I had never felt so exposed in my life.
10 Free Comms
Tonight, in the glow of flickering fluorescent lights and the oppressive warmth of too many bodies pressed into too small a pharmacy, I felt stripped bare.
I thought it would be easy. I slipped out under the cover of night, hood over my head, scarf tucked tightly to my neck, and picked the most nondescript place possible. Far from Elite, far from curious eyes, far from anyone who could recognize me and whisper my name with a smirk.
But apparently, I wasn’t the only one desperate enough to seek anonymity in the dark.
The line inside stretched almost to the door, and every cough, every shuffle of feet seemed louder than the pounding in chest.
my
I kept my gaze fixed on the ground, my boots scuffing against the linoleum, and willed myself not to draw attention. Just one thing, in and out. Nobody had to know or guess what I was about to buy.
When it was finally my turn, my fingers trembled so badly I nearly dropped the small boxes before they even touched the counter. I slid them forward, pulling my hood lower over my face, as though the fabric could erase the fact that I looked younger than I wanted to. My voice caught in my throat when I tried to speak, but I forced the words out anyway.
“These, please.”
The pharmacist looked down at the items, and I swear the entire store inhaled at
once.
“Are these PREGNANCY TESTS all?” she asked. Geez. Might as well announce it to the entirety of Fenra!
Every head turned.
I closed my eyes, wishing for the floor to split open and swallow me whole. Why
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couldn’t she just whisper? Why did she have to sound so… triumphant, like she was unmasking a scandal?
“Yes,” I managed to respond.
The pharmacist leaned closer, her brows rising. “Is the father here?”
My tongue glued itself to the roof of my mouth. Was this mandatory? Why would she ask that? Why would she drag me deeper into the pit when I was already suffocating in it?
I couldn’t answer. Not because I didn’t have words but because shame rooted me in place, choking out every syllable before it could escape.
The silence was enough. I saw it in the narrowing eyes of the people waiting in line, the subtle curl of lips, the whispered judgments slipping between them.
Too young,
their eyes said. Probably careless. Probably knocked up.
I clutched the bag the pharmacist shoved toward me and fled before she could speak again. My boots pounded against the pavement, my chest heaving with each step, wanting to outrun their stares.
By the time I reached Elite’s gates, my legs felt like jelly. I slipped through the shadows, silent and quick, until I made it inside the main building. My dorm wasn’t an option-not with Arden there.
Arden, who had been so gentle earlier, who had caught every flicker of my moods before I could bury them. She’d stayed with me this week because Cade was buried in his duties, and while I was grateful, the thought of facing her with this in my hands was unbearable. Not yet.
I needed to know first. I needed the truth before anyone else did.
The bathrooms were deserted at this hour. I pushed open a stall and closed the door behind me, leaning against the cold metal. My hands shook as I tore open the packages, three of them, because one wouldn’t be enough. What if the first was wrong? What if it lied to me?
I couldn’t risk uncertainty.
The plastic felt heavier than it should have as I did what I needed to. I followed the
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Chapter 176 Inside Me
instructions quietly, holding my breath. When I was down, I set them on the counter outside the stall, lined with a bunch of paper towels.
One. Two. Three.
My reflection in the mirror looked pale, my hood still framing my face.
I paced inside the small space, chewing at my lip until it ached, fingers twisting together. Seconds dragged like hours, every tick of the clock echoing too loud, filling the silence I couldn’t stand.
And so I waited.
I stood there, staring at the little white sticks lined up on the counter, each one screaming the same word at me over and over again. Pregnant.
Pregnant.
Pregnant.
I pressed both hands to my face, my knees trembling where I sat on the cold bathroom floor. My breath caught, and for a long second, I thought maybe if I closed my eyes hard enough, it would disappear, vanish like a cruel nightmare. But when I peeked again, the lines were still there.
“Fuck,” I whispered,
This was something I couldn’t undo. I was pregnant.
I shook my head, strands of hair falling in front of my face.
There was no one else it could be. Only Rowan. My heart ached just thinking of his name. He was the only one I’d ever let close, the only one who’d ever had that part of me.
And yet, he didn’t even want me.
Tears blurred my vision, spilling before I could stop them. My voice cracked as I whispered into the empty space, “What am I going to do?” The walls echoed the question back like a cruel reminder.
Tell him? Could I even do that? What would Rowan say-what would he do? He
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never listened to me before. He never even gave me the chance to explain and really show him that I cared. Every time I tried, he turned away, as if I were the problem.
Why would he listen now?
The thought alone was unbearable. I pressed my arms against my stomach protectively, already shielding the fragile secret living inside me.
The thought of it made me sob, my shoulders shaking as I buried my face against my knees. “I can’t be pregnant,” I said out loud. “I can’t-I can’t-”
But then, a voice came through the suffocating silence.
“You’re pregnant?”
My entire body froze.
