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The past two and a half weeks have been a whirlwind of stress and chaos, largely due to Andy’s constant panic attacks.
Our exams have been in full swing for the past week or so. While I’m breezing through mine, thanks to my natural aptitude and genetic predisposition. Andy is a different story. She’s the type of girl who procrastinates until the eleventh hour.
Always has been.
I feel like I’m practically enrolled in her course. I spend so much time teaching her the material from her own syllabus.
Learning has always come easily to me. When I was younger, I used to get frustrated because I couldn’t understand why others couldn’t keep up with my pace of thinking.
So, I would often get bored in class, which inevitably landed me in trouble. That’s how they realized I was different from the other
kids.
When I was nine, I was moved up to Kyle’s class because of my intelligence. Kyle despised it because he was always compared to me.
The school suggested that my mom let me skip a few more grades, but she refused. Truth be told, I didn’t study much when I was in school, because I had a knack for remembering everything I read the first time I read it.
Word for word. It was a handy skill. I’ve never failed a test in my life, even when I didn’t study for it. But being smart didn’t just land me in trouble at school-it also caused problems at home.
I used to hold study groups with Kyle and his friends because I was tasked with tutoring half of them. But I never really understood why I had to, considering their best friend was the second-best academically in the school?
Yes, Knox was second best, I was first. He was never going to claim that title. Plus, Knox was always part of the study group. I don’t know why he didn’t tutor them?
He used to get annoyed over the fact he wasn’t first because he was the big hotshot quarterback and felt he had to be the best in school too, so he would get super competitive with me.
It was amusing, though, no matter how hard he tried, he could at best match my grades, but never surpass them. I usually scored full marks every time.
We used to bicker and tease each other over this. Our moms liked to call it flirting and bonding, but we just enjoyed riling each other up over it. It was like a verbal food fight.
I know what you’re thinking. Was he the typical high school jock? My answer is yes, but he was friends with everyone, and I mean everyone. That was the one thing I was never good at.
Talking to people, where he nailed it on the head. When I first became friends with him, all the girls would only befriend me to get closer to him, my brother, and the rest of the pack.
So, I stopped trying to make friends, stopped caring to talk to them, and stopped caring what they thought of me.
I always resented the fact that he could converse with people so effortlessly and kindly, while I would respond with sass or awkwardness. A few years down the line, I embraced both of those traits my mother so kindly passed down to me.
All the girls would flock to him when he played football for our high school team. I, however, wouldn’t go near the field unless I was playing on it.
I used to detest being around him, boasting about himself, portraying himself as this divine god that all the girls would fall to their knees for, literally.
I played soccer when I was in high school. He used to come to my games, to try to throw me off and check out the other girls on my team. Actually, all of Kyle’s friends did that.
Kyle played on the same team as Knox and used to nag at me for not going to a game. My excuse was always something like, ‘I have to wash my hair’ or ‘I’m seeing Hannah tonight.”
Kyle was really good until he blew out his knee at the end of senior year. It was a tough time for him.
I won’t lie, I used to have a crush on Knox when I first met him. Then he opened his mouth, and that’s when I realized, he’s such an ass.
I even told him so. See, he used to treat me differently from everyone else, especially after the kiss. Ever since that happened, he was an even bigger ass.
Then we kissed again, and it just made things worse. So we stayed clear of each other, but at the same time, he was always around. Always.
How did I become friends with Hannah? We bonded over the fact that our brothers and their friends were the objects of every girl’s affection in our school.
She has an older brother, James, who was in my older brother Max’s year. They are best friends. Don’t get me wrong, James is hot!
Sandy blonde hair, well-built like he was in the army, always wore a tight top to show off his muscles without taking it off, and his light tan made all the girls swoon when he walked by.
Hannah is a year older than me, so we were in the same year, but she was the youngest until I joined. We had some classes together, but
not many.
She never saw me as a stepping stone to get closer to my brother, and the same went for her. Although James was hot, he wasn’t someone I pursued, but she encouraged me to sometimes.
You know those guys that you can appreciate from afar but never make a move on? Yeah, he was that for me! Although he did try a few times and flirted with me like crazy.
Hannah used to hate it, but now she ignores it and enjoys it when I tease him back because I’m not like the other girls who talk to him. I’m a little more feisty.
But all my brothers and their friends do it to her too. She’s always had a thing for Wes and Tyler, but was always too shy to do anything about it.
Enough of the childhood memory rant.
Andy and I had just finished our last exam before Christmas break, two different ones. Although I could’ve easily aced Andy’s exam.
Walking out of the hall, we grabbed our bags and ran to each other for our traditional final exam hug.
“Thank fuck it’s over! I couldn’t mentally take it anymore!” she cries out on my shoulder as we hug each other.
“Honestly, you’re a nightmare during finals week! It’s like you’re PMSing times ten!” I laugh, my voice muffled by her shirt.
We pull apart, scanning the room for our next move. Spotting Wes in the corner, Andy tugs us in his direction. “Wes!” she calls, waving enthusiastically.
“Hey, Alex!” Selena greets me, her arms cradling a stack of folders. I groan inwardly, already knowing why she’s approaching me. Knox.
Ever since the airport incident, it’s been all about Knox. Every girl on campus has:
1) Asked me if we’re dating, to which I’ve always replied no.
2) Inquired about his availability, to which I’ve always said yes.
3) Requested that I pass along their number, to which I’ve always refused.
There’s no way I’m playing matchmaker for him.
“I was wondering if you could give this to Knox?” Selena asks, extending an envelope toward me.
tha familier tina of ‘Savnal Haalina’ filling the si
out and darling the call sarmina a lanah
My phone rings in my pocket, the familiar tune of ‘Sexual Healing’ filling the air. I fish it out and decline the call, earning a laugh from Andy.
She’s known who it’s been since everything went south two weeks ago. He’s called me every day and night to check up on me. It’s sweet, but unnecessary. I’ve mostly ignored it.
I won’t lie, I broke down on the phone once when I was grocery shopping with Andy. Seeing all the magazine covers featuring the two of us was overwhelming.
Some articles were kind, but most labeled me a gold digger and a whore. He tried to comfort me, assuring me it would all blow over
with time.
But the paparazzi were relentless, bombarding me with inappropriate questions wherever I went. I’d hide my face and Andy would stick by my side, sometimes Wes too. I was so grateful for them.
“Um, no, I don’t know him—” I start to reply, but Marvin Gaye interrupts me again. Damn it, Knox! Your timing is the worst!
“What? You know your timing is terrible, right?” I growl into the phone, earning a glare from Selena as if her request was more important than my call. Little does she know who’s on the other end.
“Baby doll! Why haven’t you called me back? How was your exam? Are you coming to New York like you said? When’s your flight? Is Andy coming with you? Is”
“Oh my god! Stop, you’re so clingy! I’ve been busy helping Andy with her exams and mine went fine, as usual. You should know that.
Yes, I’m coming to New York, but it’s none of your business when. And no, you’re not booking me a first-class ticket like last time. Andy’s not coming, and stop asking me twenty-one questions, Jesus!” I answer in one breath, struggling to catch it by the end.
By this time, Wes has joined us and Selena is batting her false eyelashes at him.
“Hi Wes!” she flirts.
“Hi, who’s that?” he asks, not looking at her but keeping his eyes on me. That’s not like him to ignore a flirting girl right in front of
him.
“Who do you think?” I retort.
“Knox?” He huff’s and snatches the phone from me. What the hell is-
“Knox? As in Knox Carter? Holy fuck! Can I talk to him?!” A group of girls standing nearby start bouncing up and down, their breasts on full display.
Typical. I ignore her. She’ll get the hint eventually.
“She’s good, man! She’s with me now… yes, I’m flying back with her tonight… fuck off, man!… Kn-what!… shut it!… no, I didn’t… fuck off, Knox! I’m not playing anymore!… HAH!
Please! I could kick your ass too!… no… NO!!!… Bring it! Asshole!… Yeah, yeah, whatever… Here! Talk to the idiot!” Wes hands me back my phone, which Selena tries to snatch from me.
“Leave me alone!” I scream at her.
“Why, what did I do?” Knox asks through the phone.
“Not you! This-ugh, ouch! No, you can’t talk to him! Fucking hell, Knox, do you see what you’re doing to me! I’m-OW! Stop it!
Don’t touch me!”
“Baby doll? Are you alright? What’s going on? Is it Wes? I will come there and beat him—” He sounds genuinely worried over the phone. Haha! Why? Ow! This bitch has long nails! Jesus!
“No, it’s… not… Wes! Jesus, he wouldn’t touch me… Get off me!”
“Get the fuck off her! NOW!” Wes roars at her. She releases my arm, shoots me a glare, and stomps off. Thank god! I’m going to have cuts and bruises from this! They’ll be small but visible.
Jesus, that was the worst one yet.
“ALEX?! What is going on? Are you alright?” Knox is freaking out, his heavy breathing audible over the phone. I can’t help but giggle at him.
“Yeah, I’m fine, Knox. Just the usual crazy bitches clawing at me to get to you,” I hear his sigh of relief.
“What do you mean, as usual? Does this happen often?” He has no idea what I’ve been dealing with since I met him. This is nothing new to me, surely he knows that.
Laughing out loud like a madwoman, I attract more stares.
“Are you kidding me? Knox, this has been happening since I first met you at nine! I’m used to it now,” I chuckle lightly into the phone.
“Are you serious?! I’m sorry, baby doll, I didn’t know.” The slight apologetic tone in his voice made me wonder if he genuinely felt bad for me.
I stood there, frozen on the pathway that cut through the grass. I gave him two minutes before he’d retract his apology.
“Yes, I’m serious. Why do you think I don’t have many friends? Well, I do, but not close ones. Don’t tell me you actually didn’t know?” He sighed through the phone again.
Oh my God, he really didn’t know?
“I knew I was an asshole to you at times, but I didn’t know I was an oblivious asshole. Fuck, baby doll, I’m sorry.” He just apologized… again. This was weird. I glanced over at Andy, who was just staring at me.
I pulled the phone away from my ear and handed it to her. “You talk to him. He’s acting weird, and I don’t know what to say or do.” She gave me a puzzled look, then hesitantly took the phone from my hand and put it to her ear.
“Knox? It’s Andy. What’s up?”
“Yeah, she’s… well, she’s a little weirded out by you now.”
“What did he say, sweetheart?” Wes asked, breaking my gaze on Andy.
“He apologized for being an asshole to me all these years.”
ג
Wes let out a bellowing laugh, so loud that he bent over, clutching his stomach. I couldn’t help but smile. I’d only seen Wes laugh like that a handful of times, and the fact that I was the cause of it right now made me smile even more.
He is so attractive when he laughs, but damn, he’s hot when he laughs like that!
“Yeah, that’s Wes. What did you say to her? If it’s something sexual, I don’t want to know! B—”
I watched as a grin crept up on Andy’s face while she listened to Knox on the phone. I was trying to take in the whole situation, going
back and forth between her and Wes.
He just apologized to me… twice… within minutes of each other? He must be concussed. Yeah, that’s it!
“Oh my g―, Knox, you don’t… wait! Are you― hold up, no, I’m going to ask you the next time I see you!… you’ll see when I see you!
Yeah, I’ll hand her back over.”
After listening to Wes’s laughter and Andy’s chat, she handed the phone back to me, smiling like she knew something I didn’t. Was I missing something here?
“Knox? Are you alright?” I asked cautiously.
“Haha, yes, I am, baby doll. Are you?”
“Uh, yeah, I suppose? So why did you call me?”
“Honestly, I wanted to know when you fly into New York, and to hear… from you? See how you’re doing?” He was hesitating. I didn’t like when he hesitated. Nothing good ever came out of him hesitating. Nothing!
“Okay…? I’ll be leaving tomorrow at seven a.m. with Wes, and we’ll land at four p.m. Kyle’s picking me up, and I’ll head home. I’m good, Knox. I’m not going to lie, it’s pretty weird that you’re asking me how I’m doing.” He chuckled at my honesty.
“I’ll see you at the airport, baby doll! I know, I can tell by your voice! I wasn’t that mean to you, was I?”
He was walking on eggshells with me right now, but he was also poking fun at what we were like in high school.
“Yes, yes, you were that mean to me,” I deadpanned. He laughed again, and there was a moment of silence. It wasn’t awkward, though. It was making me smile a little.
The silences had become more comfortable between us since Savannah. Who’d have thought that Knox and I would actually not try to kill each other these past few weeks?
“Will you ever forgive me, baby doll?” His dramatic tone caught me off guard when he finally spoke, and I snorted, a smile playing on my lips.
Forgetting where I was, Andy poked me out of my own little bubble.
“First you want my kisses back, now you’re asking for forgiveness. You’re asking a lot of me, Knox,” I teased him.
“Well, I guess that’s another challenge for me then! Challenge accepted. Shit! I gotta go, baby doll! See you tomorrow! Love youuuuuu,” he serenaded.
“Stop saying that! Bye!” He needed to cut that habit out. What if he said it in public and people heard, or the press heard him?
We’d both be screwed, that’s what!
“He’s so annoying.” I groaned to Andy and Wes. I put my phone back into my pocket, and we made our way towards the apartment. I was mid-sentence talking to Andy when I made eye contact with… Drew?
His hood was up, trying to hide his face. His eyes widened to the size of two saucers, and he looked over to my left, at Wes.
“Drew? What the hell happened? Are you alright?” He had a broken nose, a busted lip, two black eyes, and a bruised jaw. He averted his eyes to the ground, trying to pull his hood up over his face to cover it.
I grabbed his hand, and he looked back at me. “What happened?” I repeated softly. His eyes were pleading, and I felt so bad for him. Did he get into a fight?
He just stared at me, then looked behind me. He looked panicked and took my hand in his. I turned around to follow his gaze. Wes?
I snapped my head back to him. “Drew, please tell me what happened. I may not be with you, but I still care about you. Why did you look at Wes?” He looked back at me, tensing his jaw and gulping down hard.
“Alex, I’ll always love you. Please remember that. But you deserve better. I’m sorry for what I did to you… I’m sorry.” He let go of my hand and jogged away.
I turned to watch him, but all I saw was his retreating back. He glanced over his shoulder once before disappearing into the crowd. I stood there, utterly bewildered by what had just transpired.
I spun around to face Wes, certain he knew something. He was staring in the direction Drew had vanished.
As if sensing my gaze, he turned to look at me. His usually hard, dark eyes softened when they met mine. That’s when I knew something was definitely wrong.
Did Wes do something to Drew? I rushed over to him, grabbing his arms. “Wes! Tell me what happened. Now!” I demanded, my patience wearing thin.
He cupped my face with his hands, my own still gripping his biceps. Andy moved closer, trying to figure out if she could help in any
way.
Wes looked straight into my eyes. “Nothing, sweetheart. I don’t know what happened to him.” He lied straight to my face.
I could feel my anger building, spreading like wildfire through my body.
“Wes! I’m not asking again! Either you tell me now or I’ll go find Drew myself!”
“Alex, let it go! Please.”
“NO, Wes! Tell me! NOW!”
He exhaled deeply, leaning forward to rest his forehead against mine, his eyes closed. Was it that bad? What had he done?
“Alex, I can’t tell you. So please, just drop it. It’s for your ”
“Wes! I’m serious! What did you do?”
“We beat him up, Alex! There! Are you happy now? You weren’t supposed to see him. This wasn’t supposed to get out.” He backed away from me, throwing his hands up in defeat.
He paced back and forth, running his hands through his hair. His back was to me, his shoulders rising and falling with each heavy breath. His hands were clasped behind his head.
That’s when I saw it. His red knuckles. The dried blood. The bruises. But he’d said we. Who was we?
“Who’s we?” I asked through gritted teeth. I had a hunch about who else was involved, but I needed confirmation from him. Why hadn’t they listened to me?
“Wes! Who’s we?” I yelled, catching his attention. He turned to look at me, his body still facing away as if he wanted to escape. But that wasn’t going to happen.
“Me, your brothers, Brett, Tyler, and… the Carter boys.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?! All of you? You could’ve killed him!!! Wes! What the hell is wrong with you all! Jesus! You’re lucky he didn’t report you guys!”
My anger was quickly turning into despair. Nine boys against one. They could’ve killed him. And it would’ve been my fault.
Wes started towards me, but I couldn’t bear to look at him. Nine boys were going to feel my wrath when I saw them next, and one of them was standing right in front of me.
He cupped my face, but I refused to meet his gaze. My anger was fading, replaced by a deep sadness. No one would ever come near me again.
“Sweetheart, look at me,” Wes pleaded softly. But I couldn’t. I shook my head in his warm hands.
“Please, Alex. I can’t bear to see you like this. I’m sorry this happened to you, but I’m not sorry for what I did to that asshole. He hurt you, Alex! He hurt you badly. Believe me, this was a tamed version of what we could’ve done. We did this for you.”
We did this for you.
Those words stung. I hadn’t asked them to do anything for me. Especially not hurt someone. It wasn’t right.
“I didn’t ask for you to do this. I can’t believe you all did this to him. It’s not right.” I finally met his gaze, then closed my eyes.
I stepped out of his grasp and ran my hands through my hair, backing away. I glanced over at Andy, who was silently taking in the
situation.
“I need to go. I’ll see you in the morning, Wes,” I said softly. I was furious with them, but also embarrassed and disappointed.
You might think I’m being overly dramatic, but if the boys in your life decided to beat up your ex because he cheated on you, you’d be pissed too. I was so upset with them. It wasn’t their fight.
I walked away towards my apartment, not bothering to see if Andy was following.
I spent the entire night in my room. Andy came in after a while to keep me company. We blasted music and pampered ourselves, not in the mood to go out.
Andy brought in some vodka and juice. We sat there, beautifying ourselves and sipping on our homemade sex on the beach. We bitched, gossiped, and had a few heart-to-hearts. We were drunk and we didn’t care.
“I got your back, girl. As much as I don’t like Drew for what he did to you, it still doesn’t give them the right to do that to him.”
“Thanks, Andy. I’m not going to talk to any of those idiots! They’ve been blowing up my phone all night!”
“Doll, I’m going to give Kyle the cold shoulder too! That man’s a fool! He’s been trying to get in touch with me as well! He’s going to have to work hard to get back in my good graces. Payback’s a bitch!”
Andy’s smirk was visible over the rim of her glass, filled with liquid courage. This tastes so good!
“We should do shots! I need to do some shots!”
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