66 Pain And Reflection
Mara
The moment I stepped into my room at the Florence Hotel, I let go. The breath I’d been holding for hours slipped out in a shaky exhale, and with it came the tears.
Silent, hot, and unstoppable. I slid down against the door, knees pulled close, and cried like the pain might spill out if I just kept going.
I thought I was stronger than this. I’d promised myself I wouldn’t fall, wouldn’t be the fool who got hurt-but that’s exactly who I became. I kept seeing his face.
The way he looked when he lifted Tina. He didn’t have to. There were people around who could have helped, but he didn’t even hesitate. He carried her himself.
He still loved her. Maybe he told himself otherwise, maybe he even told me-but that moment betrayed him. His instinct chose her. And I saw it all.
I felt like the other woman again. Like the intruder. The mistake. The outsider clawing at a bond that never truly broke.
I stared at the mark he gave me, then rubbed it furiously like I could erase it, erase everything. I wish I’d never asked for it.
I wish I hadn’t taken that risk. Because that was our moment-our defining line-and when it came time to choose, he chose her.
If he cared about me at all, he would’ve called. Or texted. Or sent someone. Anything. But the hours passed, day into night, and my phone stayed silent.
I didn’t exist anymore.
Only Tina did-her and the baby.
Martha had destroyed so much. If she had just stayed away, Tina and Lucian might have been married by now, expecting a child with nothing in their way.
Caleb and I would still be best friends, not whatever this broken version of us is. Sure, maybe Lucian wouldn’t be Alpha, and I might’ve lost my place in the army. But I could’ve rebuilt. Found peace. Maybe even love.
Instead, here we are-three miserable people trapped in a mess none of us really wanted.
And I-I never wanted to be the reason someone else hurt. So I made a decision: I would leave. Step out of the triangle. Maybe then, they’d stand a chance.
I just needed time. Time to forget him. Time to harden what was left of my heart. Because once I let go of Lucian, truly let go, I would never let him back in. He could have Tina. I wouldn’t fight it.
I couldn’t take another blow.
So I ordered ice cream, sat cross-legged on the hotel floor, and turned on the TV-anything to distract myself.
Anything to stop the endless loop in my head of him kissing her, whispering how sorry he was for ever choosing me.
Pathetic.
But I couldn’t stop.
I was too angry to be around people. Too raw. I wasn’t ready to pretend I was okay.
So I stayed locked inside, curled up in a borrowed space, trying to stitch myself back together. I’d return to the mansion
1/3
different.
Stronger. Colder. Untouchable.
This time, I’d build walls no one could climb.
My phone rang.
I glanced at the screen, half hoping it was no one. But it was Austin.
Of course it was Austin-too nosy for his own good. If he got Alpha Vander involved, this would spiral even more than it already had. I braced myself and picked up.
“Hello,” I managed, voice dry.
“Mara, it’s Lucian.”
The moment I heard his voice, my heart kicked-and I hated that it did. I clenched my jaw, trying to sound composed, unaffected.
“What do you want?” I asked, flat and cold.
“Mara, please. Come home. It’s not what you think,” he said softly.
I let out a bitter laugh that didn’t reach my eyes.
“It’s exactly what I saw, Lucian. You didn’t even look at me. Not once. Your whole body-your face-your heartbeat was with her. She wanted your attention, and she got it. You say you don’t love her, but everything about that moment screamed otherwise. I just… I need time. Please, let me have that.”
He paused, and when he spoke again, his voice was fraying at the edges.
“I don’t love her. I wasn’t… I didn’t mean for it to come off that way.”
“Where are you?” he asked quickly, urgent now. “I know you’re not home. Your mother said you’re not there. Please, Mara. Let me come to you. Let me explain. Don’t shut me out like this.”
There was a crack in his voice, and it shook something in me. But the pain was louder.
“I can’t do this, Lucian,” I snapped, my voice breaking under the weight of everything I was holding back.
“It was bad enough knowing your father bought me for you. Then Tina moves in, pregnant with your child, and now this. You rushed out of that house without a second thought. You didn’t look back. In that moment, I was invisible. Just a mistake taking up space in your life.”
He tried to speak, but I didn’t let him.
“When you got to the hospital, you didn’t call me. I waited all day and half the night. Nothing. Not even a damn message. So tell me why should I be sitting at home waiting for you after watching you fall apart over your ex? That’s what she is, right? Your ex? Because it sure as hell didn’t look like it.”
I was crying now, not even trying to hide it.
“You have everything, Lucian. And I’m removing myself from the equation so you can have your perfect little life back.”
His voice came through again-soft, desperate.
“I left my phone at home, Mara. I swear. We left in a rush and I didn’t think-I didn’t grab it. I wanted to call you. I looked for it the second we got there. Please, Mara. Please tell me where you are.”
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