Where was she? Everyone was eating. I had a plate in my hand for her. I know she was busy helping with the food while we played volleyball. We asked if we could help, but she shooed us away.
“Do you see her?” I asked Bryson. He had a plate of desserts in his hand for all of us and his plate.
“I don’t, is she still inside?”
“Maybe? I’ve seen her bringing food out, but I thought she was done with that.”
“Hey, guys, come over here for a minute,” Dawson said.
We walked over. He introduced us to Rage and Savage, the bikers that were protective of all the ladies and James. We nodded, our hands being full. Dawson, for some reason, went into a story about how they know each other. I was nodding but looking around for Shay, Bryson was doing the same, and I noticed the bikers were distracted and looking around too.
I really wanted to go look for Shay but no way was I interrupting her brother and my boss. Then Ford came over and started talking about some douche named Jason and how he and the guys took care of him for Isha. That got my attention a little. So, my bosses were a little dirty. Good to know, I feel a hell of a lot better about working for Becks Security, knowing the lengths they’d go for the woman they love, because I was the same. I’ll burn the world for Shay.
That brought me up short. Is that love? I looked at Dawson and Ford and the bikers.
“So, let me get this straight, you’d go balls to the wall for Isha and would you guys do the same for James?”
“Yes,” they all said.
“Is that love?” I just blurted it out. They all looked at me like I’d lost my mind, and I shuffled my feet. I looked at Bryson, and he gave me a lopsided grin.
“You don’t know what love is?” Savage asked.
“Well, I mean, I knew my mom loved me and I loved her. But I’ve never been in a real relationship, so no, I don’t know what
it is.”
“So, what are you saying or asking?” Dawson asked.
“I, um, I wanna know how you know you love a woman.”
Dawson and Ford smiled, Rage and Savage nodded and both leaned over and slapped their hands on my shoulders.
“I’m in love with Shay, Bryce. I know this because I can’t see my life without her. I physically ache being away from her. I hate not hearing her voice. When she put herself in front of me at the stall on Friday, my heart melted, because she was trying to protect the hurt she knew I would be feeling with the confrontation with Conner. I’ve been assessing how I feel seeing him again. I thought I would feel hate, but I didn’t. I still felt hurt by his betrayal, but underneath that was a longing for his friendship, and I am having a hard time coming to terms with that. Why would I long for his friendship after I caught him f*cking the woman I was in love with-at the time?”
I nodded. I could see how that could be confusing.
“Did he do it out of malicious intent?” Rage asked.
Bryson shook his head. “Apparently, he was in love with me. I didn’t know he swung that way. We had been friends since we were kids. In his mind, in some f*cked up twisted way, him f*cking my girl was a way to be closer to me. I later found
How Do I Know
out she instigated it, but it didn’t take much for him to fall for her sh*t. His betrayal hurt worse than hers.”
Points
“That’s why you’re having a problem. Because he didn’t do it to be a d*ck. I can understand why it hurts. But I bet you guys would have worked that sh*t out in time. Especially, if he had explained the reasoning and where his head was at. Why didn’t you?”
“Apparently, he got a DUI the night he was coming to apologize and explain in detail why he did what he did and what he was feeling. He got in an accident and got arrested. Spent two and a half years in the corrections facility.”
Rage nodded. “You’ll need to have a conversation with him. It’ll help heal whatever is going on.”
“Now you,” Rage said, pointing at me.
“If Shay left you right now, if she said she didn’t want to be with you anymore, what would be your reaction?”
I looked at Dawson, Ford, him and Savage.
I mumbled my answer.
“What?” they all four asked, leaning in. Bryson choked on his laughter.
“I said, I wouldn’t give her a chance to leave me.”
Rage and Savage nodded in approval, Dawson and Ford looked at me as if they both wanted to kill me.
“Explain,” Dawson snapped.
“I can’t see my life without her either. I’d probably drop to my knees and beg her for scraps. Seriously, she’s everything I thought I would never have. I love the dynamic I have with her and Bryson. I see us all growing old together, the whole white picket fence, and kids and a couple of f*cking dogs. She’s my reason for everything. I want it all with her and
Bryson.”
They all nodded with smiles on their faces.
“You’re in love, man. That’s exactly how it is. That’s how I feel with my guys and Isha. I know that’s how Rage and Savage
feel with James,” Dawson said.
I looked at the bikers and they nodded.
“You’re in love, dude. If the thought of her leaving you kills you, and the thought of her gives you the thought of white picket fences, she’s your future, you’re in love,” Ford said.
I took a deep breath. The thought of her leaving me made my heart race. I started looking around again.
“She told me she loved me this morning and I didn’t know what to say. I was trying to tell her that I didn’t know what love
was, but she cut me off and I let her. I was afraid.”
“Yeah, I saw the look in her eyes when she came out of the bathroom. I tried to get her to tell me, but she wouldn’t, and then, of course, I told her I was fine. She’s hurt. She wants to help me, and I’m not sure how she can. But she needs our love, we need to tell her how we feel. She’ll feel so much more secure, especially with what she’s been through. She told
you she loved you man, congrats,” Bryson said.
I could tell he was a little hurt and I shook my head.
“No, Bryson. She said she loved us. Her exact words were, ‘Bryce, you and Bryson, I know it’s so fast, but, I love you. I feel it in my heart that this is right. That’s what she said. She loves us.”
His smile was brilliant and I smiled with him. We bumped elbows because our hands were full.
“Look, I’m glad your girl loves you, but I am starting to get really anxious. I can’t find my baby boy, so I gotta go, come on Rage.”
2./3
*B Points
“Yeah, I haven’t seen Shay, it’s making me agitated too,” Bryson said. I looked at Dawson, and he looked a little guilty. But I turned on my heel and followed Bryson into the house. We both put our plates down.
“Shay!” I yelled.
“JAMES!” Savage bellowed, and my eyes widened. He was either pissed, or scared. His eyes were a little wild.
“Calm down,” Rage said.
“I can’t breathe,” Savage said. “He’s mad, I can feel it.”
Rage put his hand on the back of Savage’s neck and started rubbing. “He’s here somewhere, we all came together in his
car.”
“What if he left us?” Savage wheezed.
I started to freak out. What if Shay left with him, or in her own car? I looked at Bryson, he looked worried too. I pulled out my phone to call her, but suddenly, James came down the hall, followed by all the ladies and Shay was the last in line.
“I’m going to go home. You guys stay and have fun. I need a moment to myself,” she said with a small smile.
“Baby,” I started.
“No, please, I need to think. Just have fun. You rarely get some guy time, okay?”
She leaned up and kissed my lips, and did the same to Bryson. We both stood there, stunned. Did we just f*ck up everything? Did I, now that I know what love is, have I already lost it?
