Chapter 17: Guilt
Roman
Goddess, being in this room brings back so many memories. Seeing the picture of Theo on the mantle, I swear I can bear his
laughter.
Maybe it’s this room, maybe it’s the commonalities between Samantha and Samara, maybe it’s that Theo’s birthday is coming up soon, but it’s like all of that grief from nine years ago is pressing down on me, making it hard for me to breathe.
Tocus on our mate, Pierce says softly. He feels the pain of losing Raye as much as I feel the pain of losing Theo. All four of us were best friends. Our wolves treated each other as much like brothers as Theo and I did.
I look up and see her staring at me like I’ve grown another head. Shit! She was finally opening up to me a little and I started going down memory lane.
I push the past aside and focus on my mate. I pick up my knife and tap her plate
Let
“Let me know if it’s to your liking.” I tell her. She blinks at me, then slices into her steak.
White hot desire flashes through me as I watch her eyes roll back into her head as her head falls back, exposing her neck. I fight the possessive growl that Pierce roars in my head. If I were closer to her, I’d lean over and nip her neck, accepting her submission. She’d hate it, since I know it’s not intentional, but I’d do it anyway.
“Oh, it’s so good,” she moans. If anything, her response to the steak is even more intense than her response to the coffee this
moming. Fuck I can’t wait to hear her moaning like that for me.
I chuckle as I watch her. “Alpha William’s omegas didn’t cook like my chefs?”
Instead of collecting herself, she just shakes her head, her eyes remaining closed and her throat remaining exposed while she moans a ‘no‘ as she continues to enjoy the steak.
“They were good cooks, and I exclude myself from that category. But this? This is a masterpiece,” she moans, opening her eyes and lowering her chin. “Oh my goddess,” she says, slicing off another piece.
She chews another piece of steak, moaning again. I’m going to fucking explode in my pants if she keeps this up. I shift, trying to find a comfortable way to sit while I focus on my own steak I take a bite, and I have to admit she’s right. It’s fucking
delicious.
She takes another sip of wine and moans again.
“Oh, you were r
right! It does taste better with the steak. Roman, this is SO good,” she says, focusing on her food again
I realize that this last half hour, she hasn’t said one snarky thing to me. It gives me hope that we can find some common
ground.
“So, was filet mignon one of your expensive tastes?” I ask
She looks at me, as if deciding whether or not to answer. I hold my breath. Yes, I’m interested in knowing the answer, but it will also give me a better idea of her age when she left her home
“Yes,” she finally says I mentally up the age that she left her home from five to
seven
“What other expensive tastes did you have?” I ask, wondering if I can get any more information that will help me narrow down the age she left her home
“Make up,” she says, much too quickly.
I make a point of slicing my steak and look at it as I pretend to ponder her response. “Your parents must have been very
1/3.
Insistent about you wearing make up at a young age if you were so young you didn’t remember how old you were when you got to Alpha William’s pack, but you were already wearing make up,” I say, smiling as I take a bite.
I get the annoyed fake smile. “1 would get into my mother’s make up. Do you not have any sisters?” she asks
“No, I’m an only child.”
Well un
I then, I guess you wouldn’t understand.”
Since this conversation is getting us back to the snarky side that I’m trying to avoid, I change the subject
“What do you like to do in your free time?”
“I like being outside,” she says, her voice getting soft.
“Was it hard to let your wolf out at Alpha William’s pack?” I ask her.
“Not really,” she says, then chuckles to herself.
“Care to share what’s funny?”
“No,” she says, and I drop it.
“My pack lands are large and there is a thick, beautiful forest that is partially on the pack lands, but extends up into the mountains around us. My pack borders a national forest, so there is plenty of room to let your wolf run.”
“For some reason, I doubt you’re going to let me run around your pack lands.”
“Of course you can. Pierce and I would love to show you
“And if I would rather explore on my own?” she asks.
around
I shake my head at her. “Not yet. Not until I know you won’t run from me.”
She stares at me a moment.
“Do I get to ask questions?” she asks.
“Ask me anything,” I say, pouring more wine.
“What’s this about?” she says, moving her finger around the room.
“Guilt,” I say, looking around.
“Were you in love with Luna Jessica? Is that why you feel guilty?” she asks, a bit of a bite in her tone.
I laugh, ignoring her attempt to get a rise out of me.
“Everyone loved Luna Jessica. She was one of the best Lunas I ever had the pleasure of knowing. But no, that’s not why I have guilt. Their pack was attacked Theo, that’s him in that picture up there, the one on the left, he was my best friend. He called to tell me that his pack was under attack and asked for mine and my father’s assistance. I was a year away from taking
over as Alpha of my pack.”
I pause, remembering that night. “It took us too long to assemble our warriors and by the time we got there, the battle was already turning against my friend and his pack. Our friend Sawyer, that’s him on the right, he arrived before I did. He and his men were already fighting when we arrived. I got there just as Luna Jessica was killed. I heard Alpha Royal howl his pain at the loss of his mate and then the sound cut off. I knew he was dead as well. Then I went searching for Theo. It was too late when I found him,” I say, remembering walking into the room and seeing Sawyer standing from where he’d been crouched by Theo’s body.
+25 BONUS
“He’s dead,‘ Sawyer said in that moment, it was like the entire world shifted and spun out of control My best friend was dead I was too late. Nine years later, it still feels like my world never righted itself again.
“Anyway,” I say, my voice tight. “That’s why I dedicated this room to their family. They were like a second family to me, he was like a brother to me, and I didn’t get there in time to save them.”
I sit back, taking a deep sip of my wine. Samantha looks shocked, like she can’t fathom that I would feel so much quilt of not being there for my friend.
“Are you about done?” I ask her.
“Yeah,” she says, looking down. Her steak and a large portion of the potatoes are gone
“Did
you
ou want dessert?” I ask her. I hope she says no. I need to get out of here.”
“No, thank you,” she says politely. Maybe she sees the pain on my face, because her response to me is kind and polite
“Let’s get out of here,” I say, standing and walking around to pull out her chair.
When she stands, she stares up at me, searching my face for something. I have no idea if she finds what she was looking for or not, but I gesture for her to walk ahead of me and she turns, heading for the door.
I turn and look at my friend’s picture on the mantle, closing my eyes against the grief that threatens to overwhelm me again, before turning to follow Samantha out of the room
She’s standing, holding the door open while she watches me. I don’t say anything and neither does she. As we step back out into the dining room, I nod at my warriors–letting them know it’s time to go
They all quickly finish their food or ask for a to–go box and then we’re back on the road, headed home.
Cooper
Now, w
will Samara believe him?
