Chapter 18: Sadness
Samara
When we get back into the SUV, Roman is quiet, lost in his thoughts. I don’t try to start a conversation. I’m lost in my own thoughts. What the hell was that in there? He looked… grief stricken, like losing Teddy nearly broke him.
‘I told
you, Samara. I don’t think he was involved. I don’t want to kill them,‘ Ayla says.
I glance over at Roman. He’s rubbing his hand over his jaw in a way that feels like a habit, a habit he has when he’s stressed
or uptight..
I want to get more information, but I won’t kill him, not yet. Not until I get proof that he was involved. He really did seem upset about not being there in time”
Thank you,” Ayla says, sounding like something tight inside her just relaxed. I sigh. Of course she wouldn’t want to help me kill her mate, but if I find proof…
If you do, then it won’t matter if he’s our mate. If he had any part in killing our family then he has to die too
I see Eric looking between Roman and I in the rearview mirror.
“How was your lunch, Eric?” I ask him. Roman turns to look at me as if my voice startled him out of his thoughts and then he
looks at Eric.
“Fantastic as always, Luna How was yours?
I’m not your Luna, but it was delicious.
“We already talked about this,” Roman says softly looking back out the window.
“About what?” I ask
He turns and looks at me, raising his eyebrow. “You’re my mate. I’m the Alpha. That makes you
his Luna”
His voice still holds the pain it had while we talked at the restaurant, so I don’t argue. Instead I turn back to Eric.
“I had the filet. It was delicious.”
“I’m glad you liked it, Luna. The pack owns the restaurant and most of the people who work there including the chef are part of our pack.”
“Is that so?” I ask. Roman is listening, but he’s not participating in our conversations.
“Yes. He makes the menus for the packhouse every week. We eat damn well in our packhouse if I do s
say so myself”
“What’s your favorite thing that they make?” I ask, making conversation. For some reason, I want to give Roman time to pull himself together. Up until now, he’s been larger than life, Something deep inside me doesn’t like to see him suffering like this, especially when it’s about my family.
“Meatloaf. That and the seafood souffle, it’s so good. You’ll have to try it,” he says.
Before I can answer, Roman jumps in
“Samantha doesn’t like seafood,” he says, glancing at me, then Eric before turning back to looking outside.
“Oh, sorry, Luna.”
“It’s okay, you didn’t know. Are you mated, Eric?” I ask him.
“Not yet, Luna That’s one of the reasons Alpha chose me to come with him, hoping I’d have a chance to find my mate.”
1/3
+25 BONUS
“Im sorry you didn’t have more time to look for her.”
“That’s okay. I’m sure there will be more opportunities in the future for me to find her. Alpha is twenty–five and he just found you I’m only twenty–two, so I still have plenty of time.”
I smile. Eric is a nice man. I’m not sure how much time til spend with him once I’m at Roman’s pack, but he’s not a bad
companion.
“How did you become Roman’s driver?” I ask, noticing that Roman has started to turn away from the window, not quite engaging in the conversation but paying more attention.
“I applied. I’m not just a driver, Luna. When you drive the Alpha, you have to be prepared for anything. If we were ever attacked, I’m prepared to give my life for Alpha Roman,” he says seriously.
“Your priority would always be your Luna when she’s with you,” Roman says, turning to look at me.
Im pretty good at taking care of myself,” I say, but I keep the snark out of my tone. Roman may be starting to talk, but the sadness is still in his eyes. I don’t know why it matters to me, but it does.
“So am I, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to make sure that you’re safe. Always. You see how upset I am after losing the man I considered my brother nine years ago. Imagine how devastated I would be if I lost you.”
“Tm not even wearing your mark, I murmur, as we p
pull up to a guard gate,
“Say the word and that changes,” he says. I ignore him and watch as Eric waves at the guard. The guard then waves at Roman as we pass, his eyes passing over me with obvious interest
Another wave of memories and nostalgia wash over me as we drive through the pack lands. There are differences, the brush is more overgrown in some areas, more pushed back in others, but the overall look and feel of the place is exactly as I remember it. Coming to this pack always felt like coming to my second home. Roman’s parents treated me like their own child and since Roman was an only child and I was the youngest, I was doted on by both of his parents.
“Where are your parents?” I ask, wondering what happened to them.
Roman sighs and looks out the window again. I see Eric’s eyes flash to him before he looks back at the road.
“Theodore was my best friend, but Alpha Royal and Luna Jessica were my parents‘ best friends as well. Maybe that’s why Theodore and I were so close because our parents got together as often as possible. After their deaths. well, my parents took the loss of their friends as hard as I did. They stayed until I took over the pack, then they left, not wanting to be in the north any more without their friends here.”
“That must be hard for you,” I say.
He shrugs. “That’s the job of an Alpha. The pack comes before yourself. I have to put aside my sadness and do
do what needs to be done to lead my pack. My father was lucky enough to be able to walk away, to escape the memories. I’m not sure if he has it better or not. I still get to have Theo in my mind and heart every day, seeing things in my pack lands that he loved. My parents have all but erased them from their lives. They moved south and while they have taken up residence on my mother’s family’s pack lands, they are mostly hermits. Maybe someday when you and I have pups, they’ll come visit and you can meet
them.”
We’ve just pulled up to the packhouse when Roman’s phone rings. He looks at the caller ID and answers.
“Sawyer,” he drawls. My body instantly tenses and Roman notices.
“What’s this I hear about you being back in the North, Roman?” Since I’m sitting beside him in the car, I can hear Sawyer clearly. The sound of his voice is like nails on a chalkboard
“That didn’t take long. We just left Hartwell’s two hours ago,” Roman says
“Well, when you take an unmated she–wolf into a private room, the gossip hotline lights on fire. Who is she?” he asks.
“I found my mate,” he says, looking at me. Eric steps out of the car, but I don’t move, wanting to know what he says to Sawyer
“Congratulations! What’s her name?”
“I’m not sure. She says it’s Samantha,” he says, watching me.
“What does that mean?” Sawyer asks
“Well, she’s an Alpha and she was hiding as an omega in one of the southern packs. She hasn’t given me her real name yet,” he says, watching me as I glare at him. I wasn’t ready for Sawyer to know I’m here yet
“And she agreed to come with you?” Sawyer asks and even I can hear the disbelief in his voice.
“Not exactly. I used my powers of persuasion,” he says, smirking at me. I roll my eyes and reach for the door handle. He grabs my wrist, holding me in the car.
“We just got back. I’ll call you later,” he says.
“I want to hear all about her,” Sawyer says.
Roman disconnects the call then looks at me again.
Thank you”
“For what?” I ask.
“For giving me time to collect myself. Being in that room, talking about. Theo and his family hit me harder than I expected”
“You’re welcome,” I say.
Still
holding amy wrist, he looks out the car’s windshield
“Welcome home, Samantha
Cooper
Whether it’s the mate bond or Samara is a true Alpha, she did what Roman needed to collect himself.
