Chapter Seventy-Seven
There was something wrong with his mate. Graham stabbed a few more pasta noodles with his fork and glanced across the table at Catherine. She was nearly done with her own meal. She continued to stare down at her phone, scrolling mindlessly and ignoring him completely… as she’d been doing all week.
Ever since she’d come back from her visit with Juno, she’d not been herself. Lucas, who Graham ordered to follow his mate into town, relayed that the two girls spent the majority of their time in a free clinic. He chalked it up to Catherine wanting to be there for her friend but the more time went by, the more he wondered if there was more to the story.
Graham couldn’t recall the last time she’d allowed him to touch her. She’d brushed against him at night and would sometimes graze the tips of her fingers over his arm when trying to move around the house. He found himself craving those small intimate gestures, incomparable to their normal embraces.
The absence of the physical wasn’t even what bothered him the most. What bothered him was that she’d completely shut him out of her mind. There were no more hints into what she felt, or a stray thought she let wander through her mind into his. She’d somehow figured out how to even keep him from glimpsing into her dreams. He couldn’t take it anymore. He’d given her space, let her have time to absorb what Dominic wanted from her. He needed to touch his mate, to hold her, fuck, even just have her beautiful eyes look into his.
“My mother said things are going very well at the kitchen,” Graham said, hoping to break the heavy silence that had filled their home for a week. Catherine’s gaze flicked up from her phone to his face before dropping back down.
“Mhmm.”
“She said you’ve been getting so many compliments that you’re having to make twice as much food as before. I hear people talking about how much better the food has been since you took over.”
“That’s nice to hear.”
Four words. A miracle.
“She told me there was a big debacle today. Something about a newbie spilling a twenty-pound bag of flour everywhere? I bet that was a mess. Did you get a good laugh out of it?”
“No.”
“How did you guys ever clean that up?”
“Broom.”
Graham sighed. Catherine started to stand with her plate in one hand and phone in the other. Graham stood and took the plate from her. “I’ll get the dishes tonight, Baby. Thank you for dinner.”
“Thank you. I’ll go take my bath.”
Graham watched Catherine leave the room and let out another frustrated sigh. He’d spoken to his mother at length about what he could do to get her out of the rut she’d fallen into. His mother’s advice: don’t leave her side until she talks. Graham went about cleaning the kitchen. After he was done, he made himself a hot fudge sundae and a chocolate milkshake for her. He walked down the hall and into the bathroom.
Steam rolled off the water in the bathtub in waves. There were a few inches of bubbles, incense was burning by the sink and candles were scattered about the room. Catherine was laying on her usual side with her head lulled back against the edge of the tub. Her
1/4
right arm was held over the side and she gripped a stone between her thumb and index finger. She looked relaxed other than the small furrow between her brows.
Graham walked to the wall beside the tub and slid down. He crossed his legs in front of himself and set her milkshake on the lip of the tub. He started digging into his sundae while he waited.
“What are you doing?” Catherine asked as he scraped the last bit of fudge from the bottom of his bowl.
“Eating ice cream.”
“Why are you eating ice cream in here?”
“I like the ambiance.”
“I would just like some time alone, please.”
“I know.”
Graham set his empty bowl down beside him and clasped his hands between his thighs to warm them up. Catherine sighed and mumbled something under her breath about giving up for the day. She grabbed her towel and stood, quickly wrapping the cotton around her body. She walked toward the sink. Graham heaved himself up and quietly approached her.
“I spoke with Jensen today. He wants to move the beta ceremony up to the weekend before the full moon. He’s invited a ton of people from both Lycan packs and wolf.” Graham waited for a response but got none. “His thinking is if we have it earlier, the whole pack can partake in the full-moon run.”
“Hm.”
“He also said Rebecca is ready to come out of mourning and wants to start working with you next week.”
“Okay.”
“Juno’s been calling me a lot today. Is something the matter with you two?”
“No.”
“Catherine, I would like to know what’s wrong.”
Her shoulders tensed. Due to the steam from her bath, he couldn’t make out her reflection. “Nothing’s…”
“Don’t.”
Graham took the last step allowing him to reach out and brush his fingers over her bare shoulder. Catherine shivered but pulled to the side away from his hand. Graham refused to back down. He followed her, pushing her back until she met the cool tile of the wall. Her eyes were cast down to the floor. He reached a hand down and lifted her chin but she merely looked through him with blank eyes. He trailed that same hand up her jaw and then down the column of her neck. Her warmed skin against his chilled fingers felt like the sun peaking through on a cloudy day. Her eyes fluttered closed and her body shivered.
Graham eliminated the space between them. He set his other hand on her shoulder and smoothed both hands over her collarbone and up to her neck again. Her skin was warm and wet allowing his hand to glide over her with ease. He unpinned her hair and was smothered in her citrusy scent. He groaned and locked his arm around her waist. With his other hand he cupped her cheek.
“Look at me, Baby,” he pleaded. Catherine shook her head. “Look at me… or I’ll make you.”
2/4
“Graham,” she whined.
The soft melody of her voice did him in. He closed the distance and took her lips in a gentle caress. Catherine moaned. He drew her head back with his hand, slowly pressing himself deeper within her. His hand on her waist traveled up her back and gripped the towel in his fist. He pulled away from her, leaving her panting.
“Look at me,” he ordered.
Catherine’s eyes slowly opened and then ticked up. The moment their eyes locked he felt a crack split through her mind. Catherine gasped in pain and slammed her eyes shut again but it was too late. Images assailed him, so many at once that he had to grip the counter beside them to keep upright. A doctor’s office. Her wolf howling. Catherine on an exam table. Her wolf scratching at some invisible barrier, Juno. His mom. Dominic. Lucas. Theo. Natalie. Curtis. Her wolf pacing in a cage. A stone wall covered in a climbing vine with purple flowers, a slit of a crack with the blinding bright eye of a wolf staring desperately through. Its claws stretched out, threatening to scratch him.
Graham jerked back. He stood a few feet from Catherine now, barely breathing with the weight of what he’d just realized. Catherine watched him warily from the wall. She crossed her arms around her waist, looking even more vulnerable.
“You… you blocked your wolf,” Graham breathed in disbelief. “That’s why you’ve not been yourself. You’ve been walling off half of who you are.”
“No… I…”
“Do not lie to me!” Graham suddenly roared. Catherine shrank back. He closed the distance between them again. He gripped her wrist, whether to feel her pulse for comfort or keep her from running he wasn’t sure. “Why? Why the fuck would you do something
So… so…”
“I had to. It’s the only reasonable way to keep Dominic from using my body how he wants.”
Graham scoffed. “Reasonable? Who even gave you the idea?”
Catherine opened her mouth and then slammed it shut. “I won’t tell you that.” Again he scoffed. “It’s not like I was using it anyway! I can’t even shift, Graham!”
“That side of yourself is far more than shifting and you know it. Dammit, Catherine, you’ve been a wolf since birth. Your wolf is just as much a part of your autonomy as your human side. Fuck, it could be more! Can you not see what blocking it has done? Look at you, you’re the shell of a woman.”
Catherine ripped her arm away. “I had to do something! My heat is weeks away, Dominic could come for me any day, we are not prepared and I wanted to do something to protect myself!”
“We’re working on it, Baby. We are close to figuring out how to take him down. There is no need for this. If you had talked to me about it then I would have told you so.”
Catherine rolled her eyes and took a few steps away. She sat on the edge of the tub and crossed her legs. She propped her elbows on
her thighs and held her head in her hands.
“I can’t stop thinking about it,” she whispered into her hands. Graham walked to her and crouched in front of her. “I can’t stop thinking about what Matt said. What Dominic wants to do. How he has others lined up to do the same. The idea of being touched sets my skin to crawling. The idea of carrying anyone’s child but ours…” Catherine scrubbed her hands up her arms. Graham reached forward and wrapped his fingers around her exposed calves. She pulled away and it felt like a punch to his gut. “Please, give me some time,” Catherine begged with a whimper.
Graham tried to swallow the large obstruction in his throat. He nodded. “Okay… okay, Baby. I’ll go to bed and I’ll wait until you’re
3/4
ready again. Just..” He extended his hand in habit but folded his fingers into a fist before he could touch her. “Just tear the wall down for me. I will figure something else out. I promise.”
Surrendering to Destiny
