Chapter 102
~APOLLO~
I felt like my world was crumbling around me. I was walking, but I had no clear destination in sight. I hated myself for what I just forced myself to do.
Turning the corner, I spotted my mother waving for me to come back to the patio with the others. I knew I couldn’t go back. I already agreed to the engagement ceremony tomorrow, done all the shopping with her that she wanted, and even greeted Jada’s parents, all the while pretending to be interested in her. I went along with everything as my mother requested.
But tonight, after what I had just done, I needed some time alone. I couldn’t stick around and act like everything was fine.
I walked out the house and instantly headed to my truck.
The cool night air enveloped me with a sudden intensity, as if nature itself had decided to punish me for the way I treated my mate in the bathroom.
The biting wind rushed against my skin, stinging like a brisk, icy slap across my face, while my throat tightened with each step.
“FUCK!” I roared as I jumped into the truck and peeled out of the driveway. I had to get away. The guilt was eating away at me. Staying away from my mate and pretending she meant nothing to me was pure torture.
Where could I go to get some steam off?
An idea pops into my head almost instantly.
I had to go to the pack house. I immediately steered the vehicle into that direction. I needed to pick a fight–anything to punish myself for how I treated my mate. What did was unforgivable. Seeing the way my words affected her was tearing me apart. I lied to her, telling her she meant nothing to me, trying to convince myself as much as her. The pain was consuming me, swallowing the life out of me.
I couldn’t believe I’d said those things.
What the hell was going on in my head at that moment? I knew I should’ve just avoided her until after the engagement party. But I also knew I had to be an asshole towards her so that she would give up on us. The longer she thought there was still a chance, the harder she would fight for us, I couldn’t let her keep inflicting pain on herself. I thought I was doing what was best for her.
I knew it would hurt now, but once she hated me, it would be easier for her to move on. I believed in Lana’s strength; she would overcome everything! was putting her through. I, on the other hand, would yearn for her før the rest of my pathetic life, and she would never know the truth.
I slammed down on the accelerator, racing through the night until I reached the familiar gate of the pack house.
After parking, I stormed through the front door.
Jake looked surprised to see me the night before my engagement.
“What are you doing here?” he asks. “You should be at home, resting and preparing for your big day. Your mother already sent out the invitations, and we’re all invited.”
I didn’t want to hear any of that. I was here for one thing and one thing only. The last thing I wished to do was have any conversations about tor
“I need you to beat the shit out of me,” I demand.
He stood motionless, his eyes wide with disbelief, gazing at me as if I were an absolute stranger. The confusion etched on his face suggested that he was questioning my sanity, unable to make sense of my request.
“What the hell is going on with you?” he asks “You look like shit already and now you’re asking me to beat you up?”
I felt like it too. I deserved the worst for how I spoke to Lana. The memory of her breaking down in front of me would haunt me forever.
1/3
Chapter 102
My mate, What had I done to her?
My hand tightens into a fist. Fuck me!
“Hit me,” I order him.
His eyes widen. “Hell no. I’m not starting a fight just to get kicked
Fuck this.
It was getting nowhere and I needed someone to act fast.
“Call everyone!” I shout.
out of
the pack. I like it here.”
Within moments, I heard the shuffle of feet as pack members gathered. They lined up, waiting for me to give the order. Everyone looked surprised to see my condition. Just like Jake, they couldn’t understand why I was here the day before my engagement to Jada.
“Who here wants to fight?” I challenge, feeling the adrenaline rise.
A few stepped forward eagerly. “A fight with who?”
“Me.”
Silence fell as the group exchanged confused glances.
“You?” Jeremiah asks, disbelief etched on his face. “Are you really asking us to fight you?”
“Yes,” I answer him, trying to keep it straightforward.
They continued to cast puzzled looks at one another, unsure of what was happening.
“Is this a test?” Adrian asks, his brow furrowed. “You love throwing random tests of loyalty every month. Is this another one to see who’s loyal to you?”
My fists clenched in frustration. Why was no one taking
me
seriously? I just wanted to feel pain, and they weren’t giving me that chance.
ay,” I announce. I thought maybe a little challenge would motivate them. “All you need to do is
“Whoever wants to take my place as alpha can do it today,” win a fight against me.”
A wave of shock and disbelief overtook them, their expressions morphing into wide–eyed horror. Mouths gaped in silent astonishment, eyebrows knitted tightly together, as they exchanged confused glances.
The atmosphere grew thick with tension, as everyone waited for an explanation to my strange behavior.
“What is wrong with you?” Jake shot back. “You’re acting like a wild rogue, not an alpha!”
“Yeah,” another pack member chimes in. “No one wants your position. We all agree you’re the best alpha for the pack. Why would we need to fight you?”
“I want to fight!” growl. “Are you fucking pussies?”
If they refused to fulfill my request, I would be left with no choice but to go out looking for a different kind of threat on my own.
Consumed by a deep sense of despair, I found myself craving a confrontation, yearning to unleash my pent–up anguish on anything and anyone.
The need to inflict pain upon myself had become a haunting ache within me, as if I believed that suffering could somehow atone for the emotional wounds I had caused my mate.
The thought of a fight, with its raw physicality and intensity, felt like a twisted form of relief, a misguided attempt to make up for the things I’d done and
said to Lana.
2/3
Chapter 102
“Where do you think you’re going?” Jake demands.
I brush him off, shifting into my wolf and bolting out of the pack house, driven by a need to unleash pain in order to find some semblance of sanity.
My howl of despair rings through the stillness of the night forest under the silvery glow of the moon.
The cool, damp air carries my cry of anguish, weaving it between the gnarled branches and across the carpet of fallen leaves, as if seeking a response from the shadows that cling to the forest at night.
I’m sorry, Lana. I’m so sorry, my mate.
