Chapter 9
“Ugh!!” I groan in pain when I try to sit up from the cold, rough ground beneath me.
My body aches everywhere, a dull throb that pulses through my chest and limbs.
That rogue–he’d knocked me over like I was nothing.
I had no wolf, no strength to fight back, and the only thing that saved me was the sheer size and power of the Lycan who had appeared out of nowhere.
Beta Alfonso looks down at me, his expression kind but tinged with concern and other that I can’t tell.
He’d been with me the entire time, making sure I was alright, but the weight of his gaze makes me feel exposed, like there’s something I’m not saying, something I’m hiding.
His brow furrows as he kneels beside me, offering a hand to help me stand.
“Let’s go to the healer,” he says, his voice soft yet firm. I nod, grateful for his assistance, but the exhaustion from the fight, the pain in my body, makes it
hard to focus.
I lean on him for support, letting him guide me through the courtyard towards the pack’s healer.
As we walk, I try to steady my breath, but the words from earlier still echo in my mind.
“You can’t shift?”
I exhale a shaky breath, forcing myself to speak, to tell him the truth I’ve kept hidden for so long.
“I didn’t think it mattered.” My voice is small, barely above a whisper. “If I told anyone that, they’d see me as weak, as someone who doesn’t belong.”
Alfonso gives me a sideways glance, his eyes searching mine. “Why hide it? You should have told us. I would’ve arranged for someone to be with you.”
I wince at his words.
His kindness, his understanding, only reminds me how isolated I’ve become in the months since I left Blackpine Pack.
I can’t hide this forever, but telling them feels like a burden I’m not ready to share. Not yet.
“I’m sorry,” I say, voice tight with guilt.
“No wolf could go like that unless something horrible happened.” His tone is gentle but firm. It’s as if he’s already pieced it together.
I want to tell him everything, to explain that my inability to shift isn’t just a physical ailment. It’s the result of a rejection, a shattered bond that I’ve spent months trying to bury. But I can’t bring myself to say it out loud.
Instead, I give him a sad smile. The kind of smile that says I’m broken, but not willing to admit just how badly. “How about rejection? And seeing him mating another girl?” My words are low, barely audible, but they hang in the air between us, heavy and painful.
Alfonso’s face shifts from gentle concern to something more solemn, as if he understands exactly what I mean.
He takes a deep breath, his lips pressed into a thin line. “I’m sorry,” he mutters, his voice thick with empathy. “No one should go through that. How old are you, Ellaine?” Alfonso asks, his voice soft but steady.
“Twenty,” I answer, unsure why he’s asking.
Yes, today I turn twenty years old, no one know, as always no one notice.
It feels strange to hear my age spoken aloud in this context, like it’s a reminder that I’ve barely begun to live.
1/3
Chapter 9
“Damn,” he murmurs under his breath. “Young and you have to go through that… I’m sorry.”
The sympathy in his voice is enough to make my heart ache..
He doesn’t know the half of it.
Losing your fated mate isn’t just an emotional wound. It’s a deep, crippling thing that lingers with you, eating away at your insides. And yet, here I am, carrying it alone.
We reach the healer’s quarters, and Alfonso’s gaze hardens slightly as he notices the healer standing at the front door.
The man is waiting for us, his posture stiff, his face serious.
“What’s with you, Kurt?” Alfonso asks, his voice a little sharper than usual.
He seems… unsettled.
“It’s the first time I’ve ever received a direct order from The Alpha,” Kurt responds, his voice strained. His eyes flick to me, studying my face with a quick, searching glance. “You’re Ellaine?” he asks, and before I can answer, he’s already moving toward me, gently helping me into the healer’s room.
I nod, my mouth suddenly dry.
The mention of Alpha Francesco is enough to make me freeze in place.
I hadn’t realized how much attention I’d drawn by just existing. I hadn’t known the Alpha cared enough to have someone sent for me. My heart pounds in my chest, and I’m suddenly self–conscious under their gazes, wondering what the hell I’m doing here.
I can feel their eyes on me, their silent questions swirling in the air.
But it’s Kurt’s touch that grounds me. His hands are surprisingly gentle, guiding me toward one of the beds in the center of the room.
The healer’s quarters are simple–warm, calming, with herbs hanging from the walls and vials of potions lined up neatly on shelves.
But I don’t see any of it.
My mind is fixated on one thing: why the hell is the Alpha sending orders for me to be treated? I was just another orphan in the pack. Why does he care?
Kurt sits me down on the bed, his hands careful as he checks my body for injuries.
His touch is professional, but there’s a gentleness that makes me feel like I’m not a burden. He asks me questions in a quiet voice, confirming that nothing is broken, but I can feel his curiosity, his uncertainty about me.
I want to tell them, to explain everything–how I was abandoned by my fated mate, how my wolf, Mika, has been silent for months, how I feel like a stranger to myself. But the words stick in my throat. I can’t voice the pain that is still so raw, still so fresh.
Alfonso watches from the doorway, his gaze never leaving me, as if he’s trying to understand the depth of what’s happening inside me. I feel exposed, vulnerable. His silent observation is almost too much, and I wish I could hide, wish I could retreat back into the silence of my dorm.
But I can’t. I won’t.
“You’re going to be alright,” Kurt says softly, finishing his examination.
He stands back, and I can feel the tension in the room, the unspoken words that everyone’s afraid to say.
“You’re fine, Ellaine,” Kurt adds, his tone softening. “No major injuries, just bruises and scrapes. But you should rest for an hour before leave.”
I nod, my mind still racing. The weight of everything that’s happened feels like it’s crushing me from all sides. I wanted to heal, to get away from it all, but I didn’t expect the Alpha’s involvement. I didn’t expect this.
2/3
16:50 Sat, 12 Jul T
Chapter 9
When Kurt leaves, I’m left with Alfonso in the room, standing by the door, his arms crossed.
He doesn’t say anything for a long time, just watches me with that unreadable expression. I want to ask him why he’s here, why he’s been so kind, but the
words don’t come.
Finally, he speaks.
“I’ll go check everything before take you back to your dorm,” he says quietly, breaking the silence between us. “You’re not alone here, Ellaine. You don’t have to hide.”
I look up at him, a small part of me wanting to believe him. But the truth is, I don’t know how to stop hiding. I don’t know how to let anyone in after everything I’ve been through. And I’m not sure I’m ready to.
As he turns to leave, I feel something inside me stir. Something weak, but present. The smallest flicker of hope.
I might not be completely broken. Not yet.
But I have no idea how to heal.
Alfonso’s footsteps fade as he exits the room, and I’m left alone with my thoughts. Alone with the overwhelming weight of everything I can’t say.
And for the first time since I arrived here, I wonder if I’ll ever find the strength to shift again.