5. She’ll Always Be My Daughter Michelle I don’t leave my room anymore. I feel too tired, and when I lie down, sleep easily overtakes me. However, even though my body rests, my heart feels heavy, weighed down with sadness. It’s not restful sleep, but one where melancholy wraps around me like an invisible shroud. I wake up shortly after and realize it’s already night. Candace should be in her room by now, so I sent her a message. We know kids shouldn’t have phones, but when she asked for one, her father didn’t want to deny her. “Hi, sweetheart. I hope everything is going well for you. I love you very much, daughter, don’t forget it.” I hit send and saw the infamous blue ticks appear immediately. However, there was no response. I sigh deeply to prevent the tears from falling. I don’t want to cry. Not this time. A new message interrupts my thoughts, but it’s not from Candace. It’s from Blake. “Candy is asleep. She’s exhausted, so she’ll see your message tomorrow. Ryan and I are going to sleep too, or maybe not, hehe. Sleep… if you can.” As if that weren’t enough, she attached a photo of my husband’s bare back. The phone feels like it’s burning embers in my hand, and I drop it. My skin burns with anger, but at the same time, I feel a chill run through me. There’s no doubt this woman is determined to provide evidence for my lawyer. I’m not going to cry. Instead of sinking into sadness, I started going over my plans for tomorrow. The first thing will be to find my cousin Elvis. He specializes in divorces and, hopefully, won’t charge me too much. I don’t want to spend all my money on this process, but I also can’t afford to make a wrong move. Then I’ll look for an apartment. I don’t want to bother my parents, so it would be best to find a small place to start over. I don’t know if Candace will want to visit me once I live alone, or maybe I’ll see her at my parents’ house. She adores them, and that’s a comfort to me. Thinking about all of this feels surreal. As if I were suddenly in a nightmare from which I couldn’t wake up. But this time, the dream is real. There’s a knock at the door, and I hear my father’s voice. “Honey… can I come in?” I quickly wipe my tears, even though I know he’s already aware of what’s happening. I don’t try to hide it. “Come in, Dad.” I sit on the bed in a lotus position as he approaches and sits next to me. He kisses me on the head, but I don’t wait any longer. I fling myself into his arms like when I was a child. I clung to him desperately, letting my tears soak his shirt. I’m embarrassed, but I can’t stop. “Do you really want to get a divorce? Are you sure about what you’re going to do?” I let out a small hiccup that prevented me from speaking immediately. I take a deep breath and finally respond: “No… I’m not sure. I love them, Dad, but this is a toxic relationship. I’ve spent ten years of my life with Ryan, and he’s thrown them away without consideration. Besides, he thinks I’m the one who doesn’t want a divorce. Please! He’s a coward who hides behind me so no one criticizes him. We also need to know when to say “enough is enough.” Isn’t that what you taught me?” My father smiles sadly and strokes my arm in an attempt to calm me. “That’s right. A mature person knows when to say those words when they reach their limit. And I see you’ve reached yours. I’m not going to insist or judge you. I just want you to be prepared and know what to do in your divorce. That’s why I’m here.” We start talking about what Ryan and I have in common. We got married on joint property, so I’m entitled to half of everything he owns. But I want my share to be put in a trust by Candace. If in the future he marries that woman and has more children, I want to avoid any conflict of interest. My father doesn’t agree, but I’m not going to argue about it. This decision isn’t up for debate. “And what have you planned for yourself?” he asks me after a silence. I think about it for a moment before responding. “I’m going to look for employment. In fact, I’ve already been offered some help with that.” I tell him about meeting Abdiel’s brother, and his eyes widen in surprise. “Abdiel’s brother, your former skating partner?” “Yes, I saw him at the competitions and, coincidentally, on the plane, I ran into his brother. He recognized me and, apparently, he had company. He offered me a position at his company.” “It seems life is supporting your decision and guiding you forward. I just want you to know that we support you and that you can count on us. We can’t force you to stay in a loveless relationship.” I gave him a slight smile. The right thing to say would be, where love never existed. “Well, I’ll let you rest.” He gives me another kiss and leaves the room. What he says is true. Since I made the decision, everything has been falling into place. As if life was just waiting for me to decide to set my new path in motion. I just hope I don’t make a mistake this time around. As I lie back down, a strange feeling washes over me. It’s fear, yes, but it’s also hope. For the first time in a long while, I feel in control of my own life. And that, despite everything, gives me the strength to move forward. ***** “Well, what do you think?” Elvis receives me in his office at ten in the morning. I skipped breakfast, so I’m hungry now. “From what I see, it will be a very simple case. You’ll be the one to file for divorce, so Ryan will be notified. If, as you say, he agrees, in a few months you’ll be officially separated. Are you going to seek custody of your daughter?” That question pains me more than anything, but I shake my head. “No, she’ll be better with her father. I don’t want to move her to a new, small place with me. Besides, she would miss him too much.” “Of course, I won’t tell him that she’s the one who wants the divorce the most. He’s my cousin and my legal representative, but he doesn’t need to know every detail.” My new lawyer just nods, without insisting. “Please let me know your fees. I’ll be tight on money until I start working.” He chuckles softly. “We’re cousins. If I charge you, my father and uncle would be capable of disinheriting me. Don’t worry, cousin, everything will turn out as you want. But I must ask you something, just once. Are you sure about what you’re going to do?” It amuses me that everyone asks me the same thing. “Yes, I’m sure. I’ve never been more sure in my life.” He looks at me with a mix of understanding and pity, and I know that’s how all my acquaintances will look at me. I still have to talk to my in-laws. ***** I leave there with a determined step, although my heart beats with uncertainty. I pulled out Dylan’s card and glanced at it for a moment. I hesitate. Should I do it? I know if I overthink it, I’ll regret it, so before giving myself the chance to back out, I dial the number and save it to my phone. “Dylan? How are you? It’s Michez.” At the other end of the line, I hear a slight laugh. His relaxed tone comforts me more than I’d care to admit. “Hi, Michez. I’m fine. And you? His light humor calms me even more. “I could be better, I admit honestly, but I’m calling to take you up on your offer. I’m already settled at my parents’ house and have hired my lawyer. Now what I need is a job. Would it be too much trouble to take you up on your offer?” There’s a brief silence after my words. I bite my lip nervously, wondering if I made a mistake in calling him. “Not at all,” he finally responds, confidently. As you said, it was my offer, and it still stands. But I must tell you that right now I’m not in the city. I returned to California towards the end of the competitions. His comment catches me off guard, but before I can ask more, he continues speaking: “I just watched your daughter’s performance. She did great. A smile automatically forms on my lips. Even though she doesn’t want me around, her achievements continue to fill me with pride and happiness. “That’s great! It would have been nice to see it…” I admit with a hint of nostalgia. Then, out of the blue, I got a notification. Dylan has sent me something. “Take a look and enjoy it yourself,” he says kindly. Now I have to hang up, Susy’s presentation is next. I’ll call you tomorrow afternoon. We say our goodbyes, and I hung up before heading to my car. Once I’m settled in the seat, I open the message and play the video. The image of my daughter on stage takes my breath away. Her skill, her grace… she’s amazing. I can’t stop the tears from escaping my eyes. I hadn’t seen her perform before, but it’s clear she has a great future ahead. And even though she has decided to exclude me from her life, that doesn’t change what I feel. I am her mother. I have been since the first heartbeat inside me, and I will be until my last breath. Nothing can break that bond. She may feel affection for that woman, she may reject me, but she will never stop being my daughter, nor will she ever lose all my love.