7. Flashback Michelle This is how my story with Ryan starts. ****** “It’s you again! By the way… are you a skater?” The attractive-faced man smiled at me. I shrug. “A little,” I fib a little, expecting him to find out for himself and know that I’m one of the best. “My girlfriend skates too. I’m here to pick her up.” He points to the rink, where I see Blake executing an almost perfect spin. Her talent is undeniable. “Wow, she’s perfect.” He just smiles, his eyes full of admiration for his girlfriend. She finishes her routine and leaves the rink. When she sees us together, she gives me a once-over but doesn’t say anything. “Yeah, let’s go,” he replied, before turning to look at me once more. “See you.” He didn’t even ask my name. I wanted to tell him, but I decided to skip it to avoid upsetting the girl. I just returned his smile. From that day, I began seeing him more often, although we never got too close. “Enough! Stop staring at him, or Sullivan will come and yank your hair and scratch your eyes out.” My partner, Abdiel, couldn’t resist rolling his eyes at me No doubt. Blake noticed my interest in her boyfriend, and her malicious looks were terrifying. She was only a couple of years older than me, but she seemed to have lived longer. Her demeanor and attitude showed experience, while I still felt like a kid. Physically, I looked like a college student: dark, long wavy hair, 1.70 meters tall, slim figure, and green eyes. But I had never dated anyone. My life revolved around school and my passion: skating. One day after finishing the routine, I left the locker room ready to go home when I ran into him watching the rink. There’s something on his face I can’t quite read. “Hello! Are you okay?” I asked, and he turned to look at me. “Hello… I came to pick up my girlfriend. I didn’t tell her I was coming for her, and apparently, she didn’t come to practice today. I have to go.” His expression seemed troubled, so I tried to help. “Did you call her?” He nods slightly. “Yes, but she’s not answering.” “Maybe her phone is out of power.” “Could be. I’ll go to her house. By the way, I’m Ryan. Ryan Allen.” He extends his hand, and I shake it with a smile. “Nice to meet you, Ryan. I’m Michelle. Michelle Gómez. My dad’s Mexican,” I clarify, noticing his surprised expression. “Likewise, Michelle. You’re good. I saw you at the rink earlier.” I immediately felt the heat rise on my cheeks. My skin, too pale thanks to my mom, betrays my blush, making me look like a red tomato. “Well, I should get going. Hope your girlfriend’s okay.” I waved goodbye and headed for the exit. After that day, I didn’t see him for several weeks. ***** Abdiel’s older brother was throwing a party at his new apartment and had invited his friends and coworkers to celebrate. I feel a little awkward about parties. But Abdiel tried every possible way to persuade me, so I eventually gave in. My mom looked excited as I was ready to go out, but my dad seemed wary. His little girl was going to a party for the first time. Soon, a car horn interrupts us, and Dad gets up to open the door. “Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Gómez. Is she ready?” I walk over and do a full spin. “I’m ready.” We all laughed. They know my friend isn’t into me, as his preferences are obvious. We head out and arrive at an apartment building. His brother’s apartment is on the fifth floor, and as we enter, the music is already blaring from outside. I thought it would be more intimate, but it turned out to be a huge party. As we arrive, Dylan comes over to greet us. “Michez! You came.” He greets me enthusiastically, which surprises me because we’re not close friends. “Hi! Thanks for inviting me. I brought you a plant.” I handed him a small succulent I picked up as a gift. “Hope you like it. He looks at me for a moment before smiling and thanking me. “You’re very kind. I’ll take care of it like it’s my own.” I laughed at his comment, and he invited me in. There are lots of people, good music, and drinks everywhere. Soon, I felt overwhelmed, so I headed to the small balcony, with its door open. I get distracted by the view of the city when I sense a presence behind me. “You look really beautiful tonight.” I recognize his voice instantly and a wide smile appears on my face as I turn around. I didn’t think I’d be so happy to see him, but I am. “Ryan!” He lowers his head and gives a sideways smile. It’s clear he’s been drinking. His hair and clothes are a bit disheveled. “Hello, skater. What are you doing here?” “I’m a friend of the brother of the apartment owner.” He makes a face. “Oh, right. The effeminate guy is the brother of the idiot.” I’m shocked by his words. “If they’re not your friends… What are you doing here?” He shrugged. “I didn’t have anything better to do. I’m single now.” His words are filled with bitterness. “I’m sorry. No wonder I haven’t seen you these days. Are you okay?” He doesn’t respond. I just saw him coming closer to me. “Now I am.” And without asking, he corners me against the railing and kisses me. My first kiss. I should have pushed him away, should have stepped back, but I didn’t. It felt like my wish had come true. ****** “Will you ever stop looking at me like that?” Abdiel’s eyes search my face with a mix of frustration and disappointment. I know he was eagerly awaiting my recovery, counting the days to return to skating practice. “Does your family know? Does that i***t who didn’t take care of you even know?” Abdiel’s words hit like a heavy blow. He’s right. It was completely reckless of me not to insist that Ryan use protection, and worse still, that he didn’t even seem to care. It seemed like he was looking for precisely this, leaving me with the consequences. “No, no one knows. Only you,” I reply in a subdued voice. He shakes his head, crossing his arms. “I feel frustrated. We’ve skated together for years, and now you’re leaving me high and dry. I know our chance in this competition is lost, but… for the Winter Games, we would have had a real possibility.” I look at him in silence, feeling how guilt presses on my chest. Maybe he’s right. Maybe all of this is my fault. I remember the accident as a hazy memory. Everything happened so fast. One second I was skating confidently; The next, I was on the ground, the searing pain preventing me from moving. The medical team attended to me immediately, but the injury to my back was severe enough to keep me off the ice for a long time. Blake took my place in the competition and, before leaving, broke up with Ryan permanently. In the past few months, they had broken up and gotten back together a couple of times, but this time it seemed serious. I didn’t see Ryan again until that night when we were invited to a small bar. It was a coincidence to find him there. Between drinks and kisses, we found ourselves together in a hotel room. I must admit it was a beautiful moment. He was sweet, gentle… and that eventually won me over. After that night, we started a relationship. He treated me well, with sweetness, although deep down I knew it wasn’t love. Still, I clung to the idea that, over time, men would eventually fall in love with the women who loved them. But now I was here, with reality hitting me head-on. I was pregnant. And I had no idea if my child would ever have a father. “Well?” When I found Ryan and said I got something to tell him, his gaze felt like he was scrutinizing me. Feeling his pressure and impatience, I blurt out the truth. “I’m pregnant. I want to have the baby.” I watched him turn pale at my words. And at that moment, everything turns into an uncertain abyss. Ryan doesn’t say anything. His lips part, but no words come out. He just looked at me. “Are you going to say something?” My voice is barely a whisper, but it carries a silent plea. “Are you sure?” My jaw tightens. “This isn’t something to be taken lightly. Yes, I’m sure.” Ryan covers his face with his hands and stays like that for a moment. “This… this changes everything.” His voice sounds rough. “I know.” He looks up, and for the first time, I notice the fear in his eyes. Not confusion, not surprise. Fear. “What are you going to do?” he asks, in a tone I can’t quite decipher. “I’m going to have it,” I repeat firmly, more to convince myself than him. Ryan stands up, nervous, pacing back and forth. Then he stops in front of me. “I don’t know if I’m ready for this.” His confession hits me like an avalanche. “Neither am I,” I reply, feeling the threat of tears. But here we are. He looked away, clenching his fists. “Damn it, this wasn’t supposed to happen!” His reaction hurts more than I want to admit. I didn’t expect him to jump for joy, but I also didn’t expect him to act like this was a disaster. Then, without warning, Ryan grabs his jacket and heads for the door. “I need time to think,” he says before leaving, without even looking at me. The door closes. And with it, I feel something inside me break too. I stay seated, in the same position, with my hands on my still-flat stomach. Alone. ***** However, the next morning, Ryan was at my door first thing. My mother comes up to my room and wakes me with a serious expression, but she only says what’s necessary. “Someone’s looking for you.” Still groggy, I get up and head downstairs unhurriedly. But as soon as I saw him sitting in the living room, with his hands clasped between his knees and his gaze fixed on the floor, I knew he had made a decision. My heart pounded, unsure of what to expect. “Ryan?” My voice comes out more uncertain than I intended. “What are you doing here so early?” “I want to talk to your parents,” he says bluntly. If you’re sure about having our baby, then I must take responsibility. Our baby He had no idea how beautiful those two words sounded coming from his lips. For a moment, everything else fades away: the fear, the uncertainty, the loneliness of the previous night. I nod and turn to find my parents. When I return with them, I notice how my mother frowns cautiously, while my father remains expressionless, but with a firm gaze. I knew that as soon as they saw the seriousness on Ryan’s face, something inside them was alerted. The silence that follows is dense, almost suffocating. I, standing by Ryan’s side with my hands clasped, felt the accelerated pulse in my veins. It was as if destiny was being written at that moment, right in front of us. Ryan raises his gaze and, with a determination I hadn’t seen in him before, begins to speak. “First of all, I want to apologize,” he says with a firm voice but tinged with regret. “I know this is not what you expected, that things shouldn’t have been this way. The fault is entirely mine.” My parents say nothing, but the frown on my father’s face and the restrained expression on my mother’s make it clear that his words do not reassure them. Ryan takes a deep breath and continues: “Michelle is expecting my child. And she’s determined to have it.” My mother stifles a small sob with her hand, while my father turns pale, as if his world has stopped for a second. “That’s why I’m here,” Ryan adds. “I want to do things right. I’m here to ask for your permission to marry her.” The words hang in the air. The silence that follows is even thicker than before. My heart pounded in my chest as I watched my parents’ expressions, searching for any sign of their reaction. My mother lowers her gaze, her hands trembling slightly in her lap. My father, on the other hand, remains rigid, with his jaw clenched, and his eyes fixed on Ryan. When he finally speaks, his voice is harsher than I expected. “And how do you plan to take responsibility?” he asks, with a tone that left no room for vague answers. Ryan doesn’t even hesitate. “With everything I have. I’ll work, take care of Michelle and the baby, do whatever it takes to make sure they lack nothing.” For the first time in a long while, I saw something different in him. He wasn’t the carefree man I had known. This Ryan spoke with determination, with the firmness of someone who had made a decision. My parents exchanged glances. In that gesture, I realized they were communicating more than I could hear. Finally, my mother was the one who broke the silence. “If this is the life you choose, Michelle…” she says, her voice choked with emotion. “If you truly love him and believe it’s the best for you and your child… then we’ll support you.” I feel a lump in my throat. “But there are conditions,” my father adds, with his firm and protective tone. “We don’t want you to leave your studies.” And we want to make sure this isn’t a decision made lightly.” Ryan nods in agreement without hesitation. “I understand. And I’m willing to do whatever it takes.” My parents look at us for a long moment, then slowly nod. And so, with those few words, my future was decided. I was going to become a married woman. My child would have a father and a family. Everything was going to change from now on. And there was no turning back.